Christina really rocks

It is not a really big factoid in my life that I love Christina Aguilera whom I think is the most beautiful women upon the planet. I love her song The Voice Within which uplifts me when I am feeling particularly pouty and selfish. I get the low points in my life where I think I can't go on any further usually when I am absolutely exhausted and I still have about 3 hours of work. I seem to grab whatever inner strength I have to push myself further and just continue to put one foot in front of the other. I know that I should be happy that I have a roof over my head and a place to sleep at night. But I often wonder if there is more to it then that.

I have a continued argument and debate with my friend Sands who thinks you can live without love. Hell I know you can live without love because I have for the better part of my life. Cause honestly if this is all I got to look forward to I am seriously going to wonder what the afterlife is all about. Hell I know that things are not always what they seem and when I see the big picture I will have understanding of all the cosmic forces that go on that I am completely unaware of.

Hey its no big secret that I want to be happily married and settled down. I want at the end of my life someone to have actually loved and cherished me for me. Not once do I want the bastard to ever lie to me for his own selfish and pathetic reasons just to appease me for the moment. Cause when I find out I feel like a huge chunk has just been taken from my heart and it makes me all cold and hurting inside. Really hard to explain but I feel less of a person because I think I deserve someone to be honest to me even if it hurts. I have never had real honestly from my relationships because they always take the coward way out because they can't deal with me honestly. You know what I say (GO FUCK YOURSELF) :::angry look now:::: a lot of cussing and very few intelligent words come out of my mouth... I wish that I could use more words then cussing or maybe I should learn another language so that they will not understand the profanity that will come issuing forth when I am highly pissed. I find the verbal sparring to be tedious and unnecessary and eventually end up hurting in the end whether or not I won the match?!!! Because I am not necessarily out for blood just a wanting you to know that you seriously angered me and wanting you to understand how I feel in my shoes...

My best friend should be here in about an hour which I am profoundly happy and giddy cause I haven't seen her in a really long time. I have forgotten our long talks on the phone which I left not knowing what the hell we were talking about except that I enjoyed the conversation. Yes she is the one and only girl that I have kissed fully on the mouth and our tongues have touched. I have slepted in the same bed as her but nothing ever happened... (seriously) She is my partner in crime my opposite who can give me the opposite answer to whatever I am thinking and expand the idea further with her own little techniques. YES I LOVE THE WENCH along with her strikingly good looking husband CLIFFORD.... They are both great and wonderful people whom I am very fond of completely. They have never did me wrong except move away which hey I would to if given the chance.

My music of the day which I love is Smokey Robinson who sings The Tracks of my Tears which is an oldy but goody. I like all of his music because I can relate to or have fond memories of when I was little of my mother whom I think is the greatest and most evil person on the planet. Very Ruthless indeed.

Bands I tend to favor at the moment is Pearl Jam with whom I really like there song Last Kiss, Even Flow, Jeremy, and you get the picture right?

Metallica reminds me of the ever mysterious Sandman whom I care for dearly who I wish that he would have a significant other in his life which we are forever arguing about because he thinks he doesn't need that in his life right now. Mostly I think he is afraid of getting hurt which I am in complete understanding on that issue. But nothing ventured is nothing gained. Someone said that its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. Unless you ever gotten your heart ripped out and handed to you on a platter and try to recover from the black bottomless abyss that is now your heart. I guess that is a true enough statement.

John whom I think is a most excellent Photographer and whom I am encouraging he start a web site for the most awesome pictures his brilliant eye develops. I really like talking to him on the phone because it is like talking to a long lost friend. Hey thanks man for listening to me rant and rave when I am particularly feeling bitchy and in need of a friend which is practically everyday.

Jason whom I know is hurting very badly right now emotionally as well as physically I wish you the best. I know that I hardly know you at all due to circumstances beyond all control I wish that things were easier for you in your daily life. That the turbulent shit of this world would let you rest and give you a break now and then...

My new friend Konstantin whom I am rather fond of talking to on the Im messenger on MSN thanks for being brave enough to send me an email. I have really enjoyed viewing the pictures from Moscow which shows me how wonderful and beautiful your wintery country is.

Frank whom I adore is a serious pervert like moi whom I find intriguing and an amazing philospher in his own right. Thanks for the late night talks about just any subject on the planet and whom I find never boring. I can stay up half night which the time passes by with amazing speed (lightspeed?). Hugs...

Well my mother is here to record some music off the net cause she doesn't have a burner which I promised her access to my computer. I miss the sarcastic addittude she gives off.. Huggles my motherly dearly. Well good night I have to go with my friends later to hang out while I cough and hack my way through two hours of fun go me...

Well if you are a first time visitor hello to you and if you are a repeat visitor you lazy bums sign my damm guest books and guest maps thats what they are there for. Thanks to the ones who actually are brave enough to put there name in print....

Things that I will never tell...

My friend is in town and permanently moved here so that I have someone to talk to instead of chatting over the internet which is fun but is not the same as hanging out with an actual live human being... My namesake is currently causing hell to her grandmother which I am profoundly happy and hopefully causing a whole lot of hell for her grandfather... My head hurts right now but at least I am getting over my cold which seems to have sweated itself out of my body... But I still suffer from a constant running nose... Alright bitch moan wail throw myself down and pout... Oh well shit happens anyways then you get buried ten feet under the ground... :::shrugs::: happens.

For my friend who has everything but doesn't realize the power of his own self being?!! You know who you are so I do not need to mention you here.

Hello John whom probally I haven't talked to in a week or so which I will be blowing up your phone line whenever saying a few sentences doesn't hurt to croak out a few words now and then. The whole hurt when I talk thing is getting pretty old already...

I am tired and cranky from just getting off work so I think I will go take my lazy buttocks to bed and see what happens...

Road trip to my favorite place Barstow....

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Road trip to my favorite place Barstow....


My dearest and sweetest person on the planet is currently making her way towards my current destination or living space. I called Cliff on Carla's cell phone since her cell phone will not charge in her car then he was stuck rattling along with me on the phone while I happily asked there ETA time in Fresno. I am happy to say they will be here sometime on Monday since they are at Barstow tonight which is there destination and there pit stop since there daughter ALLOIRA my namesake is driving them absolutely nuts being stuck in the car 24/7. Once she gets out of there car she bolts like a mad cow running toward the different play pens they have a different fast food restaurants. They are going back to the first place I actually met Cliff on Thanksgiving when everything was pretty weird meeting someone you only talked to on the phone late at night or written letters to just to annoy the Vanasty. I will elaborate on that disgusting female later but just believe me you want to stay away from that girl at all costs. You will be happy just to walk away with a STD instead of her latched around your ankles for all time.

Life has been living in and out of Nyquil consciousness which persists of me drooling on her pillow that has a towel on it (my invention so that I can perserve my pillow in its pristine condition) waking up with my nose chalked full of dried buggers. :::turned you on yet:::: (I THINK NOT) :::smiles:::: Which has me running to the bathroom blowing my nose half a dozen times to get them out. Gross. Plus brushing my teeth so that the medicine/bugger taste will get out of my mouth. (DRAGON BREATHE FROM HELL) Consuming water everytime I wake up because my mouth is like the Sahara desert with no rain fall for 10 years. I can feel the cracked and dried mucus on my tongue which grosses me out even more. I am obsessed with brushing my teeth till they resemble or taste like there once winter fresh taste. Gum has been popping into my mouth till the taste has gone all out to hopefully combat the nasty taste in my mouth. I am beating this to death I know but I want to convey how miserable it is to be sick but even worse to have that germy/medicine/mucus running around in your mouth for awhile. :::shakes head:::: NOT fun at all to say the least. Not to mention my nose resembles rudolph the rednosed reindeer because its all chapped, red, and raw from all the blowing of my nose. It's like a leaky faucet that won't shut off no matter what kind of drugs I pump into it to cure it... I hate my weak immune system because it has failed me but I can understand since I being the very last person at my work to actually get sick has to say something. ::::puffs off chest:::: Maybe my body couldn't fight off sickness like superman flings off bullets off his chest but at least I get the honor of being the last nurse standing.

My favorite book which I covet like the last 10 commandments is Steve Vance The Hyde effect and Shapes. I like you to go out and try to find it if you can because I had a copy in Utah which I loaned to my friend Shelly. Who somehow lost it in between classes which I went like a banshee looking for the damm book forever. My mother gave me a copy of each for my birthday and I have kepted them safe and sound ever since. The book is about werewolfs and shapeshifters which is the same disease but the good points are that you become immortal of all harm and disease unless you get your head chopped off which is your brain. Your body heals at the amazing speed of light so if you get your head chopped off if it is still on your head or within walking distance to reattach it then you can count your lucky stars as a near miss. My favorite character in the book is Tristian who is a level 4 I believe if you read the book you will understand more of what I am talking about. I will look it up after I am through with this entry to see if I am right. But the book has a Bonnie and Clyde type of serial killers out for no good who ultimately get done in by a crazed shapeshifter named Damien in Shapes. You will find out all this and wonder where the 3rd book also like myself and hopefully motivate the author to write the next book pronto like myself.

Excuse me if my thoughts are jumping from one subject to another because of the medicine I am currently on I can't think straight unless I concentrate really hard... Well good night all LOVE YOU Cassandra

In a river of drool and snot the pillow is King.... followed by a queen with a runny nose...

Alloiratheviking@aol.com Email me if you want to leave comments that are not posted to the public...
In a river of drool and snot the pillow is King.... followed by a queen with a runny nose...

Granted that I am supposed to be sick some times out of the year but when everyone of your residents are sick which is a 99 to you ratio. I really think the odds of me getting sick are pretty good don't you. They all have the GastroIntestinal Flu which I have fought off successfully for three days till this last day where I worked a double and wham blam thank you mame. It all begins with some simple sneezing before all hell breaks loose and my nose is running like a leaky faucet without a turn off switch. Disgusting let me tell you plus I am a royal bitch when I am sick I can admit this freely without any shame. My mood is pretty good compared to what it really could be because I am actually making an effort to be nice. My throat feels like I got the bowels of hell resting on my windpipe blowing hot boiling air. The mere act of breathing raises the tempature of my throat another thousand degrees which makes it feel like a fucking sauna. Can I get some relief here? I have sprayed my throat several times with some spray which is supposed to relief my itchiness and pain but hell its like every 60 seconds I have to do it again? There is a hell and I am in Fresno suffering the mere act of breathing whilst the sick people multiply like fucking rabbits. Try working a double shift where you have to bend over your resident while you are dripping snot down your uniform and sneezing every few seconds... Ye gods there is a paradise called sleep where I drown in my own river of drool and snot on my pillow... YES THAT IS PRETTY FUCKING DISGUSTING So its just pretty much sick time right now and that is all there is to it. Well I am off to drool on my pillow again and wake up with a river of drool underneath my cheek. Some one find me a drool pillow quick fast and in a hurry.

Would kiss you all but that would get you sick. Computer viruses are not good.. ::::grins::::

MY life while praying for a miracle....

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MY life while praying for a miracle....


Okay, Have you ever asked for a miracle and not really expecting one but your faith is so high that you actually got it. My charge nurse screwed up and it fell on my shoulders but luckily I didn't lose my license because I had witnesses that can back my story up which saved me from possibly jail time and fines. Holy hell its hard enough to have to do your job now I must check over and see if they do there job?!! Hmmmm strange things are a brewing here.

I got my Mary Kay the other day that has Journey and Angelfire perfume which I am grateful for since I can pay them on my next check. Thanks Belia :). I seriously recommend anyone who wants a light and airy scent to go buy them because they truly are sexy smelling perfume.

I got so downhearted the other day with a series of bad stuff happening in my life one which is already posted and just trying to kill myself again with overtime at work. My job aggravates me to no end. Hoping and praying that I get my transfer at the hospital so that things can go a little easier for me and biking will not be such an issue since I live so close.

My lifesaver Miss Faye reminded me that when things go bad all you need to do is pray which I did for some patience and understanding?!! And you know what it helped I feel a weight lifted off my shoulder's and I am completely uplifted.!!! Not that my life is any simpler of course but my general disposition is better and I feel like its not exactly on my shoulder's because I know that GOD has my back. I have been reading my bible regularly which helps keep me out of those thoughts I shouldn't be having?!!! Well thats about it for tonight.

I think I really need more sleep and I am going to take some of my pain pills so that I can rest easier and pass right out. Muscle relaxers are good!!!!

Muah Goodnight?!!!

The rest of my B-Day

The day was spent going to Ross's and getting a nice Jean Jacket with like a fur print (fake of course) since I am a freak for anything printed. Was going to buy a birthday cake for myself but ran out of money?!!! Went back to my mothers house which I was there for another hour trying to put in her contact lenses. Did I mention that putting in contact lenses suck rocks? Specially when you are putting them in another person's eyes who keeps popping out the contact lenses right off her eyeball? I could have killed her but that wouldn't be advised at all!! Well she put in her vampire teeth to go with the blood red eye contact lenses to scare off potential freaks other than herself. I wonder what her boyfriend David thought of the whole affair?! He is is pretty weird but makes my mother happy so what does it matter?!!! Not bad looking but he needs to gain some serious weight?!!! So what else can I say except that it he looks like a cross between a medieval knight and a dark vampire go mom...

Went to the doctors office to get my work release so that I can go back to work and pay for my apartment or I will become homeless. (Thanks to the asshole who hit me on my bike while I was coming home for work) Your a real prick you asshole who couldn't even buy me a new bike so I can get to work pecker. (Do I sound a little mad??? YOU THINK) But that is what the lawyer is for and hopefully I can get payed from that soon so that I can go on my merry way and hopefully not get hit buy any more trucks who do not pay attention to pedestrians on a bike. There was basically 70 different family's who happens to be needing medical attention at the time for Dr. Grace Lim's office so I opted to tommorow Butt crack early in the morning. There is a hell and its called early risers. (sun most evil to us pale females) :::hisses::: To think that I have protected my skin to only get a sunburn on my hand? Go figure?!!!

Scanned some new pictures for my briefcase for my yahoo. Hope that you like lots of pictures of my daughter. Next I will scavenge for my sons little folder so that you can see how cute he is?!!! Some with him and his father!!! I have my best friend Carla who will be here in like less than a week so I am so happy?!!! There are pics of us in there when we went to meet her future husband Cliff?!!! Donald who shall remain nameless got us into trouble on more than one occassion. Dear God I am glad that stage is over in my life because we were forever trying to keep him off drugs when he really didn't want to?!!! What are friends for? Hmmmmm let say he needed more friends like us instead of the ones he was hanging out with.

I spent the rest of the evening listening to my two kids screaming at the top of there lungs as they were fighting with each other?!!! I could have just died right then and there but God is not that merciful?!!! So now they are in bed and I am eternally grateful for peace and quiet. Going to go to work hopefully tomorrow or the next day so that I can squeeze the rent out somehow. I hope suing this guy will get the money I need for a car?!!! HMMM if not its always waiting for tax returns that will get me what I want?!!! Hell I really don't care as long as I have a car that gets to point a to point b? Sounds simple but life is never really that simple at all?!!! Well that is about it because I am tired and its 1:00 in the morning?!!! I am officially 27 and I think I going to definetely go to some exotic place next year?!!! Not sure but Utah was fun thanks Sand, Jey, Sims, and my old pals?!!!! It was memorable to say the least?!!! Would not change it for the world?!!! Will have to make another trip when I get a car so that I can visit some more people without having to rely on others for transportation?!! Well good night all muah...

THE BIRTHDAY GIRL

Since I am an attention whore please leave me any feedback that would benefit me directly at Alloiratheviking@aol.com Any feedback would be appreciative and grateful so please feel free to send whatever tickles your fancy...

Okay yeah for me I am a two digit number in the 20's.... :::::sighs:::::: I am 27 years old today and what do I have to show for it??? Burning question you might have asked yourself a million times? I do not have wrinkles yet but I will probally enjoy a matronly like existence given the proper motivation and scenery!!! I have two beautiful kids that are evil and a blessing at the same time. Specially if they know they have just been the most god awful rotten kids and then they turn on that thousand watt smile to hopefull evaporate your anger in 0-10 seconds? How can you beat me when I am so damm cute smile that just makes you want to have a tooth ache? I went to bed early last night around 11:00 which for me is a big feat because I am a night owl by nature. Woke up about 12 hours later by the sound of my mother hitting on my screen door who only stopped by to ask for the disk for the scanner?!!! Thanks mom for remembering my B-Day I hoped that those long hours of pain didn't permenetly wipe the memory of your first born away? Not that I am bitter or anything it would be nice if your parental units actually remember your birthday as a joyous event instead of some sordid affair that is so hush hush even the CIA doesn't know about it!! I think I am going to soak my self into a stupor in my shower (which if you do not know is usually a hour long) where I can soak the laziness out of me bones. I have to go back to the doctors and get my work release so that I cam be one of the productive americans out there again and pay my unusually high taxes like the rest of the JOES and JANES out there. Dressing up would be a plus since it is my B-Day can't go out in the world without my protective George Shirt? (dress shirt) with some nice slacks because I will be wearing my black dress boots for the occasion. I just have something in a love affair with boots in general. GO GO boots are awesome in the fact that they highlight those legs even if you are a mere 5'3 wisp of a women because your legs look like they go on forever... Not that I am too fashion thoughtful person here I wear what I want when I want. I like the suits because it makes you feel powerful. Energized and ready to take on the world besides how many people are going to tell you know in a black suit with a lace cammie underneath?? Hmmmm I think not?!!! Follow that with some nice heels or dress shoes and you are head snapping wonderful?!!!

DID I MENTION THAT I REALLY LIKE KILTS?
http://www.shopscotland.net/ShopFront/Category.asp?CatID=10&Page=1


You ever want to snap this poor girls neck off at the spine then wear one of those babies out in public and I will about beat the death out of some poor smuck who is in my viewing range?!!! My SCA brother M.J. always wore then along with a body molding black :::shakes head:::: would skillfully ignore your requests for seeing what he has under the old kilt. But I must admit that wondering was probally more fascinating then just outright knowing because you would always feast your eyes on his olive complexion and drool. Am I the only one who has a liking for long Raven black hair and beautiful muscular legs? (remember folks he is not related in anyway so I may drool to my hearts content) If every man out there wore I kilt I would be in heaven or maybe I should just move to Scotland where the kilts are a dime a dozen. ::::raises eyebrow::: Men in kilts in lovely complex colors alll around you for your eye candy pleasure. Okay I think I just went into a lovely little I am awake fantasy and needs to quit it already.

Well I am out of here to soap my body to some nice smelling vanilla or raspberry while having my orgasmic moment with Herbal Essence. You know I haven't gotten an orgasmic experience yet no matter how hard I try? Maybe I am washing the wrong part of my body???? hmmm will ponder this at a later time?

:::sings to herself:::: The wicked witch is dead I am rich I am rich The wicked witch is dead :::song is over:::: I make lyrics up for comercials or favorite classical songs. My personal favorite is Beethovan which I have some neat lyrics I will have to post some time if I can figure out how to put song and lyrics together with the music but I am sure I will come up with something?!!!

Person of the Day

The Cripted Keeper: Anybody as teenagers ever found this guy funny on HBO? I loved his skeletal body with hardly any skin layering off his macabre mastered mind? Just a thought? Since I love horror movies the more the they put out the more I am entertained. Besides its a preeeeeemmmmmoooo opportunity to snuggle with someone and have then jump at the scary places to get a sneak peak at there body structure??? HE HE HE (I am a evil genius) If only in my own mind of course because I doubt if I will be making any kind of contribution to society with my brain always on some sort of erotica? Okay misty shower for me then nods off at the computer....zzzz....zzz.........zz.....z............power off

There is a hell and HMTL is satan....

Okay after a long and painful trip to revamp my Journal here is the final result. I hope that it was worth all the effort and bloodshed Jey had to endure last night. I know that HMTL is pretty much a difficult and lingering subject which I am thankful for that I can do at least put my own links in. After about 20 minutes of trying to beat in my pain killer warped brain. Finally got what it was that I was looking for and wanted done to my blog. Dear god it took forever till about 3:30 in the morning. Holy hell it was long. But without further arm pulling we have new stuff for you to do such as leave comments, look at cartoons, leave a message on guest map, some pictures for you to look at, and finally sign my guestbook. Well I hope you like it enjoy

Pleasure euphoric delights....

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Pleasure euphoric delight....

He wraps my body in delight
I am helpless to resist
Carnal knowledge he persues
Sending me in a pleasure euphoric delight
Barbaric hands touch me
Sensual kisses move me
Lingering all over my body with your mouth
Your touch excites me
Bringing me closer to desire
A passion so fierce
I burn within so hot
You challenge me with every touch
Bringing me closer to heaven than I have ever been
Desire written clearly on my face
Bring me closer to your body
I want to explore your treasure
Languishing my hands upon that flesh
As I bite softly and tenderly into your neck
Relishing in the fact that this only increases your passions
I want to hear you moan
Call out my name in desire
Watching your body quiver
Seeking a heavenly climax
Traveling the length of your body
Kisses linger on your sensitive zones
Fingers delight in causing eruptions
Finding all the places that make you moan
In between the deep sighing moans and tender touches
That steadily become more primal
Bodies become steadily drenched in sweat
As our need overtakes our body
You enter my body in one swift motion
I can feel you stretching me
Furthering my passion for you
I wrap my legs around your body
Encouraging to thrust so more
Harder I moan in your ear
Needing the hard flesh pounded in my body
Wanting the feel of my body skillfully tortured by yours
Needing the deep erotic penetration of your sex
Making me moan driving me in a frenzy
As my body begans it final peak
Climaxing in a series of eruptions
Body clinching in muscle spasm desire
As you bring to the pleasures of euphoric delight...

Something a little furry???

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high!!! I spy with my little eye something that starts with "N". Is there life out there or are we the only intelligent species out there?

I don't have a title for this one yet, I'm afraid. I will be discussing that later with my owner to find out what he thinks about it, as the story is being written for him and at his request. I hope you enjoy it. ;)

===

The sun was setting over the ridge. Here in the mountains it had become something of a tradition for the sun to sink lower and lower over the ridge until it finally disappeared from site, and although there were few others who lived in this lonely place, the inhabitants of the mountain often came out onto their back porches to watch the huge glowing orange ball sink lower and lower until it finally drifted out of sight. It was the lazy part of the day, when twilight seemed to seep through every pore of the earth and those who could turn to spend time with those they appreciated, admired, and even loved.

Night was a sacred, quiet time here, where the troubles of the day could be left behind and the people could move on. Even the females, weary from a day’s work in the home, could relax in the evenings at the feet of their men, gazing up at the stars for the inspiration that they inevitably brought. While it wasn’t the law of this land, it was a custom to relax in the evenings. When it was warm there was the porch, and when it was cool, the warming fire within.

There was no one nearby to see them. The house was remote in the woods, overlooking the ridge, and here it was private and quiet but for the birds sounding their last calls of the evening. The ursine figure reclined in his chair, hands above his head to support his neck, staring up at the sky with a thoughtful expression on his face. He seemed content, and that was all that mattered to the naked figure kneeling at his feet. The day had been a hard one, and the sunset and its twilight brought with it a time for peace. Peace never lasted long in this place, even in the seclusion of the mountains. Or perhaps it never lasted especially because of the seclusion of the mountains. Intense thought had proven nothing, and perhaps it never would.

It was silent, not because silence was natural, but because it was how he wanted it to be, and everything was to remain as he pleased. The female’s irritation could not be heard in the usual thumping of her tail against the hard wood of the porch, but if he had turned his head he would have seen the delicate, overlarge black ears pressed firmly to her skull in delicious anger. He liked her like that, although he wouldn’t have admitted to it. Tonight, however, nerves were on edge. Everything had gone wrong today, and neither wished to speak of it. After all, the girl was nothing but a possession, not fit for hearing the wears of his day, nor fit to listen to. She was meat and nothing more. He began to hum softly to himself.

He believed it to be a good policy. The Strangers were taken to the market and sold as they appeared. More and more of them seemed to be showing up these days, and most of them made hard workers. The women were especially valuable, and there appeared to be more of them. The mel also realized that many of the males were being set free, of course. They had other value than any that could be purchased at the market. He was happy with his purchase. She gave him frequent reason to punish her, and if he told the truth, he enjoyed having her stripped naked and chained to his chair. He enjoyed taking his whip to her back and buttocks and he enjoyed the way it made her squirm. Her happiness was of little concern to him. That was the way that it had always been. Women, for the most part, were possessions. If she displeased him sufficiently, he could take her back to the market and sell her for an even greater price than he had paid. But she pleased him, so he kept her.

The thump of her tail against the wood was audible, and it pulled him from his reverie. While she pleased him, she was one of the worst trained females, and especially one of the worst-trained slaves that he had ever encountered. He gave a low growl, his brown eyes focusing on her. She stared back with indignation shining in the bright blue-violet pits of her eyes. She returned his growl, her ears flattening further against her scalp, the hair at her back standing visibly on end. Her tail continued to thump. “Let me go,” she growled at him in a tone so low that it was barely comprehensible. “I’ll pay you. Just let me go.”

“Pay me?” he laughed. His chuckle was deep and hearty, and the sound made the birds stop their singing in the trees to look down on the predator in fright. They hadn’t lost their old instincts, and the cessation of the sound made him chuckle again, more loudly this time. “See?” he said to her, turning his intense gaze back on the bold female. “Even the birds stop to listen to me in respect. Why can’t you be the same? You are the most ill-mannered and badly behaved female I have seen in all the years that I have been alive on this earth. Tell me, is this what you were trained?”

The clatter of heavy chains broke through the silence as the female lifted her paws in anger and frustration, as though to lash out at him. He’d learned his lesson early on, and now she could not escape her chains. She would remain that way until she had learned to behave. He had sworn it, and would make it so. “I was never trained!” she spat at him angrily. “I’m not a slave! I’m a fucking princess! What the hell would you know anyway?” The words were venomous, and she turned her head away from him so that he wouldn’t see the beginnings of angry tears that were burning in her eyes. She didn’t want to let him know the effect that he had on her.

He laughed again. It was a casual sound, the sound of someone entirely confident. “Whatever a princess is, you sweet little brat, I’m sure that you’re it,” he said to her. “As for paying me to release you from your bondage, you would do well to remember that you own nothing. Not even that silly fool’s money that you had when you were delivered to me at the market auction. So how do you plan on buying your way out of bondage?”

Oh, there were rules about that, but as with many others, they had never been written into the laws here in the mountains. He could release her as his slave and allow her to live as his wife, his brood, if she pleased him enough. Though she pleased him, she would never make a fine wife. She made a poor enough slave! He chuckled again at this thought, bringing her head around again so that he could see the glistening of her tears in her eyes. He smiled at her, and reached down to cup her chin in his paw. He brought his face close so that they were nearly nose-to-nose, his breath hot on her muzzle so that she wrinkled her nose to hold back a sneeze. She closed her eyes, fighting his gaze. “You are nothing,” he told her in a voice as cold as steel. “You are nothing but my owned pet, and you will remain that way until the day that you die unless I decide to sell your disobedient meat at market. Do you understand me? You are nothing but what I make of you.” He emphasized the word ‘nothing’ strongly each time so that a little shiver went down her spine. Her ears began to droop slightly and her shoulders sagged.

She had been everything once! What was it with this stranger! Why couldn’t he understand? She’d been asleep one evening, and everything had been fine. Eighteen years old, fresh out of school and ready to go out and face the world. Then everything had turned upside down. She wasn’t even sure where she was except that she seemed to be in a place entirely foreign to where she had grown up, and that her body was different, covered in fur with a few other strange modifications. She felt unsatisfied and lonely. Her heart ached for her family to which she could never return as long as she wore his chains.

“What are you?” he asked her, his tone harsh and unyielding. “Tell me what you are. Then maybe I will release your paws from those chains that have you so tightly bound. Maybe I will release you from those chains from which you so desire your freedom!”

Her eyes flew open. Was he serious? The fur beneath her eyes was moist with her tears. “I’m a princess of the Akanama tribe! God please let me go! Let me go home!”

He chuckled again. “You must be from some place where intelligence is not as valued as it is here, my dear,” he tutted at her. “That was the wrong answer. Your bondage will not be lifted, but perhaps you would like to try again?”

She growled. The angry tears were still coursing down her cheeks in rivulets that wet the fur of her face and she tossed her head angrily. “I am not a slave,” she growled in a tone so low that it was barely perceptible. “I will never be a slave. I don’t belong to you and you don’t own me.” Again she put the same venom in her tone which made her appear to be seething. The hair along her spine stood on end as she glared at him, jerking her chin to try to escape from his grip on her. He held her fast.

“You are my slave, girl,” he whispered to her. His voice was also low, but it retained a degree of mockery. She hated him. Oh! How she hated him! She raised her paws again as though to strike out, but the chains clattered, bound to her feet. She could not reach up to him. She revealed her teeth, hissing at him as only a feline could.

He released his grip on her chin and leaned back in his chair, chuckling again to himself. The sun had already dipped below the ridge, and now it was dark. He gazed up for a moment at the stars which appeared clearly in the night sky, the contemplative expression returning to his face as he ignored her. She was, after all, nothing to him except a slave. Still, she was a slave he intended to keep. “I think we’ll take you to the market tomorrow and have you marked,” he said, his tone casual. “Mother has been telling me for years now that it’s time I started my own harem. I think I will. And I’ll start it with you.”

Student of life! Any questions?


Okay what would happen if you asked someone to snog with you? I know that it is a fancy way of saying kiss?!! But come on already, it's like a disgusting snobbish version of a kiss because you only snog instead of kiss?!! Does anybody else out there get aggravated with that word also? Or is it just me?! Well that's pretty much it except for that I am probally going to play a hell of a lot more videogames! My b-day is in 2 days so probally will not be doing anything special since my broke ass is pennyless right now. Happens I guess. I seem to always get jinxed out of the nice gifts on my b-day. Not that I am expecting anything spectacular right now since all my friends are either out of state or out of mind... So whatever is clever man... Thats what I say. Well the big 27 is going to happen and I do not particularly feel older or wiser?!! Not a magical time for me anyways but ask me that when I am 30 which is in 3 more years? Then we will see if it is a magical time or not?

Well I am blogged out for today nothing special to say but hey. ITs a blog you can write whatever you want because you are the only one reading it...

Random thoughts and events of the day------------------------>


BUZZ BEANS

Something that I thought only happened in Utah which I am thankful and grateful they have carried the tradition or did it start from here originally and carried from there???.... Anyways, Starbucks makes this heavenly candy configuration called a buzz bean which is covered in chocolate (your choice of assorted flavors) that gives you a huge jolt of energy. Not since JOLT COLA that has promised you twice the caffeine of regular soda and to keep you up for weeks at a time does this stuff let you sleep for a wink. I was bouncing around in Wal-Mart looking at fish tanks for my daughter for her birthday. When my mother and I spied a Starbucks in close proximity of where we were. I promptly pointed out that there was green heaven over yonder that we should take our person's over there and suck greedily from the ambrosia of a Venti Mocha Malt.... There is a heaven on earth and that place is called STARBUCKS!!!!! After sucking down that which left me feeling a little high since I am already on pain killers and muscle relaxers (in case you didn't know already from my earlier bitch of pain and suffering) we got a pizza from the local pizza parlor. Which, if you are interested makes a mean pepperoni and black olive pizza that melts the taste buds right off your tongue. I am talking good good and super deee duper good stuff which coming from me says something.

Okay deep breathe...

Cassandra is in her groove. Not really doing anything but happily playing ps2 games for the duration of my crippled ass at home. That plus cleaning has taken up pretty much all my time. Sleeping does a good job of taking my time too but it doesn't matter what time of the night that I finally go to sleep. I still wake up around 7:00 or so and try as I may can't fall asleep till I start counting the holes in my eyelids and bore my self to sleep. I went to the lawyers office today to see if getting hit by a truck and the guy damaging my body yet again will actually render me some cash to replace lost wages and my bike that was totaled!!! Can't say that this bodes well for me and my family but hey something positive has to happen in this situation. The only positive thing that happened in the situation was me getting my vitals taken by some cute ambulance guys. Not that I was paying attention to him flirting with me?!! I was too brain addled to do much more than give him my arm and let him do the job that I normally do to my patients. Strange to be on the otherside of the ball game... I wonder if I would be a nice patient.... let me think about that...... probally not...
My patience would wear thin to the point where I was throwing stuff at them randomly as they give me lame excuses. Please dear lord never let me have the nurses that I work with cause I know that they would leave me all messed up for hours cause they are damm lazy...
I think tomorrow just because I can I will dress up in some knock out outfit of mine and go get some starbucks with my mother. Things are better in perspective when you are dolled up and nowhere to go... Maybe its the layers of makeup that are like a protective coating against the world creeping in on your domain called your body. I know that I can be very short with people who are new trying to talk with me. I avoid talking to people as much as possible except when it comes to ordering food. I am very polite and even beyond courteous because I know what they do to your food. I shudder to think what has happened when Brandon on many occasions has been rude and mean to the waitresses in restaurants...

Well on brighter note I did take my pants off for some female who wanted to take pictures of me. Since I know that has caught your attention Ari... I think I should elaborate as to what I mean by that... ::::GRINS:::: A very attractive Hispanic women by the name of Maria asked me to show me my bruises in the (Lawyers Office) conference room. I being not ashamed of my body one damm bit promptly took off my clothes down to my underwear and bra. Since I can't really show my bruising down in my private area because that is just plain embarrassing hell I already did it once while go over the process with her? She took my pictures in a very professional manor while I joked about getting lipo on my ass. :::laughing:::: She wants liposuction on her inner thighs which is a joke because she is even more petite than me by far. Hell I still got a 20lbs. To go before I have at least a good average weight for 5'3. Not that I will ever be the size I was but I like to do some nude shoots of myself before I get older and my body is ugly forever. I have a tat planned on my body of Sandman's artwork which I know would look awesome of a huge Sandman tattooed on my shoulder or in the middle of my back. Haven't really decided which one or where yet I want it on my body. But Sands, bless his dark little soul is going to be the first one to see it after of course myself and the tat artist.

Since again with my near miss of loss of life which of course is becoming a regular occurrence in my daily activities. I would like to thank whomever is my Guardian angel for not giving me any broken bones nor taking away my use of my hands since I can play some mean ps2 while I am home bound. And a big and huge THANK YOU TO GOD without him all things wouldn't be possible. My time with my kids has me appreciating the fact that I was happier at work and not annoyed by the sound of my 2 year old vocal range. Dear God my child has a range that will brake glass and shatter your eardrums. Bleeding out your nose, ears, and mouth to me doesn't sound like a good time at all. But my son will just to piss you off scream and scream and scream till he is blue in the face or he passes out whichever comes sooner. SO I will promptly shut him in the room so that he can scream at four walls or throw himself at the door. I have yelled, threatened, spanked, scolded, pleaded, cried, slammed my fists into my ears, and prayed for heavenly advice on what to do. Finally and gratefully he passes out falling into an angelic like sleep where all notion of killing him earlier is wishfully swepted from your mind replaced by extreme feelings of love and contentment... Sigh ::::gag::::: sigh My son who is a lot like me has given me hell back for all the torment and hell I have given my mother is rightfully finding its mark and hitting me full in the face....

Sometimes I wish I have ripped out my uterus and given it to science so that none of my cells is lurking out into the world causing havoc and chaos. Okay truthfully, if I had it all over to do I think I would have stayed a virgin forever because truthfully both of the people I slepted with sucked in bed. One because he was a virgin also and the other because lets face it folks size does matter.....

Lets end this in a light note about the Harry Potter book cult that's creeping its ugly head around which I unfortunately have been trapped in and currently serving to further exploit the innocent minds of youth by reading it myself. I must say that I have all the books in Hardback and paperback versions and I can't wait for the next one to be out so that I can read it within a couple of days. That's what sucks about being a fast and absorbent reader cause they do not write the books fast enough. Or they wait till they have made as much money as they can bleed out of the public which I can leaning towards the latter with this theory of mine. Holy hell I know that there is going to be some more Harry Potter movies which was the reason why I picked up the book in the first place because my daughter begged me to see it in the first place and I was not about to become evil mom and say no to my daughter. So without any further word put into your lingering eyeballs to read. I really liked the book and recommend anyone to buy it which for me being a major horror book fan loved it to pieces. I am just wondering who is going to be Harry Potter's love interest in the next book but my gut is silently hoping he will choose Ginny Weasley myself. Is anyone going to back me up on this one??? If so let me know???

Well I have written enough here to satisfy my need to make myself heard in the silent world of the internet so if you just happened to stop by and was curious thanks. If not and you are a continued reader of my blog thanks again. Hope to see you soon...
Muah

Well a few days later and I am out of work. Can't lift my residents so then they will not give me light duty. SO I am so screwed its not funny. You know when you get kicked down and then get kicked while you are withering in pain and misery there has to be a breaking point!!! My nerves are worn thin since being home with the kids. Holy hell I forgot what it was like to be home more than 12 hours at a time. Why must things always be a struggle with me and my life. I get tired of struggling and not making much progress till I am blue in the face and reading to push up Daiseys. I am about ready to pull out all my hair and scream at the top of my lungs and hope that no one comes with straight jackets to take me away. Blubbering and doing crazy nonsensical stuff like talking to myself and hearing voices...

Just an angry moment right now which I know will pass if I wasn't so frustrated then I would feel a little better instead of being angry that some fuck head hit me with his truck and too my job away from me. My kids could potentially be homeless if this continues....

Forget about anyting you have ever heard cause my luck sucks rocks. I got hit by a car today pretty minor only a cracked wrist and some major bruising. My fight with a vehicle defenitly I would say the truck won and I lost. Damm my first fight lost but getting hit going 35 mph on a mountain bike I am doing pretty good realitively speaking. I hit the ground and immediately got back up (with a few choice cuss words to further enlighten some peoples ears) walked to the sidewalk tried to shake the fuzzy feeling in my brains since they were addled.

Another hurting time in my life... I remember exactly why I hate fathers in general and why I do not trust most men in general. LIttle known factoids that I am not proud of is that my father has been in and out of prison all my life. Not having a father in your life is pretty difficult and sometimes embarrasing because other people in the classroom would often wonder why your dad never shows up on parent teacher night. My stepfater Nick who was supposed to help us abandoned us in utah which left us homeless living in a car for 7 to 8 months at a time in the bitter winter months. He spent my trust fund that was supposed to go to a home for us drinking and gambling it away. My father if you can call him that frequently went in and out of my life like a blur with pretty promises and quick sneaky ripping off of my stuff or my mothers property. My father which I am not proud to say has molested many members of my family and would have molested my person if I was not strong enough to fight off his advances. I see people around me in my life doing wrong and it just brings it all back painfully and harshly. I can rant and rave till I am blue in the face which will never do any good because the world keeps on turning and things continue to happen. I have always been afraid that the sins of my parents will be imprinted on my soul somehow that evil will be passed onto me through my blood. Hell I fight daily not to do wrong because I feel that I am stepping closer to what my father is. Not to say that I am a saint which in fact I am not even come close to being. I struggle daily on my addittude which hasn't improved with the persecution at work from an angry and bitter charge nurse. The anger isn't even directed at me its the politics from the company but she finds a likely subject that will not back down from no one and she just lets loose....

Everyone in my family tree has been molested which has become some bizarre family tradition that has gone way back through the generations to present day. Not a pretty thing to accept but that is a great and hurtful subject that my grandmother is trying to break the cycle by keeping an eagle eye on any grandchildren to hopeful prevent this ugly reoccrence.... WIll post later ran out of time

Sometimes all you need is simple words from lovely friends to liven up your day. Course you all probally know that I am in an erotic poetry club. So not to beat around the bush (pardon the pun) ::::grins::::: have gotten several friends from there that write the most sensual and heartbreakenly romantic words on the planet. As in other words flowery phases to loosen the morals of any young women... Well here is a beautiful sample of what poetry should be...

The Word Beautiful

There are not enough letters in the word beautiful to complete a sexy you. Even those sweet sensual eyes of yours tell a story of what has went down in your past. Today is a new day and you're such a gorgeous gift so we'll call you the present. No words can explain just how much you thrill me by your smile alone. Womanly ways from your delicate touch even flows through me. The way we turn on each other is noted as, with a passion. You definately make the firm grow harder minute, by second, by precious minute. A true blessing in disguise is the way we compliment one another. Last night in my mind we shared a feeling of made love like never before. Our arena of silk sheets full of rose petals surrounded by candles accent the very sweetness of beautiful you. Let's lay togetherletting the true feelings of touch take over. I adore the way your heavenly touch adds a beat to my already satisfied heart. I want to feel that sweet feeling your womanly love gives, brings and awaits to release. Show and tell me with your angelic voice the way you love to feel. My business is your pleasure. Because there is not enough letters in the word beautiful to truly complete, a sexy you.


copyright 2003 By Sir Lancelott



Wonderful Journey

Our style of lovemaking is a wonderful journey, not a destination. As our passions remain real and true it's going to show. With such a gorgeous body let my actions express my gratitude while our minds dwell on wickedly sweet temptations. It's the sexiness of you that completely spends me. Soft kisses and licks between us draws foreplay into many, many directions. We take those actions sweet and sensuously in beautiful ways. Our cups runneth over with passions yet to unfold. With subtlty our lips touch. Our curious caressing hands outline one anothers body frame timelessly slow. Sweet anticipation makes your honeypot cream for relaxing ecstasy. Heat from our naked bodies begin to blend as our sensual kisses grow deeper and more intense. Your gentle words whispered to my ear with a peck from delicious lips and the silky softness of your voice swells me. The wisdom and will to survive your devine lovin' makes sweet anticipation control the hearts beat pound after abnormal pound. And as we procede on our wonderful journey, our style of lovemaking is not a destination. Just mindblowing bliss.

copyright 2003 BY Sir Lancelott

Need I say more about what is displayed in words that should be displayed between two different people...

As you can probally tell my time on her as been short and brief as possible so that I wouldn't miss any prescious time that my lady had left in this world. On retrospect, while I was honored to have been present at her death and being able to somehow lessen the pain of the others. I was struck dumb by the overwhelming emotions that I knew would hit but I guess I wasn't prepared for properly. I know that every nursing protocol says that you must have no emotional attachment to your residents. That you should always keep that certain boundaries that you should remain sperated from your work so that nothing impacts you. I haven't learned that or I am so stupid and stubborn in my ways( granted probally all the above) that I am not willing to give myself totally to my residents. I take huge amounts of pride in knowing that I do better than most at my work. Although I have begun seperating myself from the slackers so that I will not be associated with them in any way. I do not want them to say that I do not do my job properly which is my great pride. Call me vain I do not care but I want to give a hundred percent in that field. You take an oath when you become to nurse to do your best and to right what you see wrong in the first place. I honestly can't say that I have followed this to the letter with a one huge thing that I have let slip past me due to circumstances that would affect more than one person's life that I have let it go in anothers hands. In my short brief time with my resident talking with her she has been more than mean, curt and short in temper and my response was one with my sarcastic addittude that she respected right off because I didn't back down from her. I told her in no uncertain terms that I may be her nurse that I wasn't her slave and I would happily help her if she just show one little bit of gradittude in return. As thus, my relationship with her deepened to full fledge affection. I didn't mind her tyranical behavior because I knew it was one of fear and not of hatred towards me. My many conversations with her have left me feeling of profound closeness and sense of trust from her. I would tell her what is going on with my life and share the news with her about my children whch she understood why struggling parents and non working fathers suck rocks. My deepened anxiety about her approaching death would make me feel useless because I knew there was no way to prevent it and that she was pretty much scared towards the last few months. She finally came to accept it which is no real feat in itself because you can bounce back and forth through emotions when you are dying.
I do not think that I will die with alot of people by my side since I like to push them away so much. I find it hard to deal with people who will eventually disappoint me in the first place. Which in my case is a viscious circle and needs no repeating the same tyranical behavior that has been my life. Many disappointments from really close friends and I am not pointing fingers at any one thing its just a accepted fact that I may or may not ever find someone I can ever completely trust. Yes I love my friends dearly and in no way blame them for there behavior. I know how I am and what I am so I can't possibly change that because why bother. You either love me or you hate me there is hardly an inbetween. I know for a fact that people who say they love me lie because if you truly love a person you love them for all there flaws and you never once leave them... I would rather be alone then with people I know who will eventaully betray my trust and fall so low that my disgust of them would make me want to go away. I can't lie very well at all which is no unusual fact if you know me well at all. My mother says my eyes change color when I lie which I know for a fact is not the case hello my eyes are hazel they change color all the time. Depending on my mood or range of emotions I am dealing with they turn a watery green when I am upset which is pretty much all the time. On in extreme cases of happiness do they change to a brownish orange color that is almost copper in color. My depth in understanding the universe right now is pretty limited but it doesn't stop me from wishing on falling stars for just a little peace in my choatic life. I struggle with the rage I feel at the moment. I struggle not to get upset at Moe or Brandon for being inconsiderate shits. I struggle with my children who wonder why I am not home enough with them and I am watching someone else raise my child because I am always at work. They ask me questions constantly why I am never home and always at work. My first reaction is anger that I can't be with them. Pissed off at Moe for not sending any child support. Mad at Brandon for not being able to work due to his disability that he caused to himself which he is unable to help out financially. But he does help me with taking the kids to day care and picking them up from school which I am not able to do. Its a huge viscious circle and I can complain till I am blue in the face but nothing is going to change the fact that I am still only a one income mother struggling against time and endurance where even I have limits. My frustration level is at an all time high and I am having a problem with not just being plain shitty to everyone... Bangs head against wall... Now I feel better.. Yeah right

Well it finally happened my resident passed away while I was in the room with the family. She took her last breathe while her daughter was pleading for her to finally go home where she belongs with tearful devotion they each in turn showed her support and love. My face which I couldn't remain impassive in my grief seeing her pass away in front of my very eyes plus with the family shedding there tears so readily. My heart was with them as Bailey screaming her grief not readily excepting the death of her grandmother who has been her only family. My heart went out with her as she screamed, ranted, raved in her desperate need for releasing all the pain, grief, and anxiety of watching her grandmother fight for breathe. She died pretty fast with so much love surrounding her she went with one last gasp for breathe. I had to prepare the body with loving care and with silent tears as I have respected the women greatly. It was hard for me to except that she was gone because I sat by her bedside holding her hand while she was struggling for breathe and fighting to live while her daughter was working herself to exhaustion trying to cover the expense of funeral bill. Her daugher would come in and spend hours with her just so that she wouldn't miss any time with her mother. I saw the very last gesture her mother gave to her daughter which was a squeeze of the hand when she took her last breathe. Aaaaaaah love..... So as you can tell my day was spent in a rush of going into this room and that room, chasing my residents around, changing them, and lastly putting them to bed. I had to inventory her stuff for her family and with great care fold neatly her clothing. I just had to see her daughters point of view so that none of her stuff no matter how small was left there or put in the trash by mistake. I painstakenly put her posters into boxes so that nothing got ripped or torn while trying to remove them from the wall. I am really sad right now I knew this was coming but in no way was I prepared on the impact that she would cause in my life. I gave her a hundred percent of my time so that she could be as comfortable as possible but even that I think is never enough. So as you can tell I am in a down and out mood because as usual cassie has a hard time expressing her feelings. Even now I can see that I haven't properly expressed myself here. I am profoundly effected by her death and I know that I do not want to do no more long term care because I do not know how to emotionally seperate myself from them. I become too attached and my heart swells when they smile at me. I like to see them happy and I hug and kiss them so that they know someone cares for them. So my heart is down and I do not think I can stand it anymore working in that field. I have resolved to working in the hospital where the stay is brief and the human contact and the chance for heartbreak is lessened. I need to find a job where I do not get emotionally envolved. I hurt alot right now and I can't stop crying which makes it all seem worse. I feel like I just got hammered in the head for awhile and my body aches where there is no reason too. Just a really bad day.....

Nothing much to say but that I am alive and kicking which means I am sleeping my life away or I am at work. Grins what else is there to do. I can't wait to work at the hospital because that means easier work and more money for the effort I give at work is enough to kill an elephant. Well I have to go to it again you guessed it work. Yeah for me!! C

I will finish the rest later I am pretty much tired as hell right now and I need my sleep exhaustion has taken its toll...

Here's my friendship profile with other people

Virgo Friendship Profile
If you ever need a designated driver for a night on the town, Virgo is the one to call. Not only will they show up for any and every important occasion, they'll be early enough to take care of last minute details and put everything in order. The Virgo is the most helpful friend you'll ever have. They'll help you work out at the gym every day, they'll help you remember not to gorge on junk food, they'll remind you to brush your teeth at least twice a day, and they're there to assist in the planning of the minute details of your life. All this helpfulness might drive you batty. At the same time, if you ever actually do need something, Virgo will be right there for you. They give excellent advice and are fast on their feet in crisis situations. Their practical outlook will help you through the rough times, so long as you don't embarrass them with any big displays of emotion. If you can handle your Virgo buddy jumping up to do the dishes as soon as dinner is over, you'll have a loyal, intelligent and interesting friend for a very long time.

Aries:

Aries Friendship Profile
As fire can be a fleeting thing, so can be the friendship of a Ram. If you want to call an Aries up for a night on the town, you'll have an exciting companion for the evening -- but don't try to make plans for next week. This Sign needs variety in their friendships. If one group of people can't keep up with their constantly changing interests, they'll move on to new friends. Not that they ever lack for companionship: The Ram is well liked for their edge, so making new friends is never a big problem. Friends are nice, but not exactly necessary for independent Aries, who doesn't need a big group to have fun. When they are in one, though, their competitive nature is liable to get the better of them. Don't try to borrow even a cup of sugar from this one. Ruled by the First House of Self, selfishness can sometimes take the upper hand when it's a choice between people and possessions. On the other hand, the Ram can be very warm toward their friends. As long as Aries feels that they are the number one friend in your life, you can count on having an exciting, albeit brief, whirlwind of fun.

Scorpio:

Scorpio Friendship Profile
The mysterious Scorpion may turn out to be the best friend you've ever had -- or your worst enemy. The first rule of friendship with a Scorpio is that you never, ever cross them. Their sting is strong, and they never forget a wrong done to them. That said, it's fairly easy to keep your Scorpio friendship intact, and, as soon as you prove that you are worthy of their devotion, they will be a loyal comrade. You will never know what is on their mind, and you may not have any idea where you stand with them, but their secrets will always fascinate you. Kissing up is a major turnoff for your Scorpion pal, so let them know how great they are without fawning all over them. Scorpio does not have too many friends, but they hold on tight to the ones they do. Friendship is not the most important thing in their lives, but they will stay true to a long-term companion. A Scorpio will gladly give you the shirt off their back if you need it, but you may get the slightest inkling that they have an ulterior motive for doing so. Friendship with the Scorpion will always be full of surprises.

Best Friend Bets: Virgo, Capricorn

Gemini:



Gemini Friendship Profile
The social butterfly of the Zodiac has lots of friends. In fact, the Twins should have twice as many as any other Sign. One side of a Gemini will want to go hang-gliding and run around outside, while the other is keen on sitting cozily at home and playing a board game. Their friends need to be as diverse as they are in order to keep up, or they just need to know when to let Gemini go free. The Twins can bond well with lots of different kinds of groups. If they get bored with one set of people, they always have a few more groups that will be more interesting -- for awhile. Gemini is a sociable creature who enjoys having friends. If you can match their pace and mercurial temperament, you and your friend will have a blast. The best way to develop a bond with a Gemini is to make an intellectual connection. Interested in exploring anything at all? Take along your Gemini pal and enjoy the new perspective they give to even the most ordinary situations. If you can match wits with this one, they'll respect your intellect and work to develop this worthwhile friendship.

Best friend Bets: Aries, Leo

Somewhere in my dark recesses of my troubled and sometimes choatic mind I get an enlightened version or dreamscape of comprehension where I am standing outside of my body looking at me wondering what the hell I am doing?!!! I had this dream of traveling outside of my body and understanding all things that I am doing wrong and having so many ideas on how to fix them but the moment I got back to my body I was utterly exhausted. I couldn't even lift my head.... I have done this many times before with knowing certain stuff about people while they were sleeping. Its easier if you are closer to the person to do it cause you have to travel outside of your body and fixate on that person and just go there. I have the most vivid dreams sometimes where I will be peaking on young lovers and know what each other is thinking. One memory that stands out in my mind is this japanese couple they were speaking there own langauge but I understood somehow because I think it was me in a past life?!!! Sounds strange but I thought I recognized them from somewhere and thats is the only explaination I have right now.

I drowned one time which all I can remember is the feeling of uptmost peace and harmony while being forced back into the pain rackled body that was fighting to breathe through fluid filled lungs. I remember that my memory was completely gone of what I was trying to remember most and something that I promised myself that I wouldn't forget has been forgotten... There are times when I feel that I could almost stumble upon my memory somehow that if I just jar it right that all things will become clear. I have not given up on this whole understanding the cosmos thing that I know will never be fully answered till I am dead. But I do not necessarily want it to be right this second either because I am not through here yet in this world. I know that I am going to die very old near the beach because I can smell the salt in the air. I remember in a dream that I looked down to see my hands and they were old with age spots. I had needle work in my hands that I looked up into the sky and saw seagulls. This necessarily might not happen since your fate is not necessarily one hundred percent set out in front of you. I believe that we are giving so many choices to fulfill our destiny and we can either do it the hard way or the easy way. But who wants an easy life I for one do not want it because I know where my strengths lie and where my weaknesses are. Gulps boy do I ever....

Well thats enough about my little theories on life not that it matters much to you anyways...

Have you ever had one of those days that it just goes bad no matter how hard you try to prevent anything from happening taking some precautions and hoping that things turn out right but they don't. My resident which will remain nameless is dying and I do not know how to help her from being afraid. She had me in tears today because she was so frightened and I was at a loss of words to help her. I tried comforting the best I could with physical contact because I highly respect the woman even at her most tyranical moments I enjoyed her company because she is so spunky. She is dying with so much pain and every little movement to change her is a test in agony so you must be precise and quick about what your doing. WHich I am both and incredibly quick she forgets that I am there. I will greatly miss her because she has touched a place in my heart and I find her passing very difficult to handle. My emotions have been running pretty high and I try not to think about it. That is all I have to say Cassandra

Well this is my new friend from SF and I am greatly pleased that I was forward enought to make him share some of his works with me. I am tremendously impressed with his writing and in no way going to let him go as a friend. Damm if only I could even immulate some of this talent I would be greatly enhanced as a writer. I feel like a Wayne's World movie and bowing down and saying I am not worthy I am not worthy. Dear God I am not worthy.... Love you all Cassanda

Druken_Poet: This one is called "Baby"
Druken_Poet: Baby the stars are shining over the nightfall here under the sky we are looking into each other's eyes. Tears don't need to fall we are closer to each other the longer we stare into night sky. Don't let fear over take your heart let the night come closer to each of our lives. Our obsessions are not going to be the only things taking over our heart's but our love will be fierce something that says a lot before it has anything to do with either of us in our life. Close your eyes now just imagine what may come of our dreams and in the flesh what it will do to combine us like dreams made into the flesh of holy nightmares sewn together to make happiness true.
alloiratheviking: cool nice start
Druken_Poet: Oh it will be like a torrent of energies thrown together strewn to fight one another yet love conquers all and the nightmares fighting against each ones favorite ending must lose out to the night sky's effect of uniting lovers in their mitts. Baby let the stars emit their power of love let the souls of those divided feel it in their soul's when looking to share something with those so far apart. The night is not the companion of liaison but the necessary need of a lover's heart. Look up now remember our love the touches the whispers listen to the nights ghostly breezes. She speaks my words of love a whisper a tethered faint hope of my heart's deep reveries of love.
Druken_Poet: Listen to her reach out over the distance feel her as you felt me against your tender skin as she gently glides her kisses over you and whispers my sweet words of wholehearted passions. Remember only this if you remember anything my love for you is there always if you doubt anything do not doubt the love I have for you. Remember the night sky is where we are always welcomed in our union even when we are far apart

TORN
I don't know what to say to you. The words go in droves like lemmings ready and willing to die without some sort of actual structure guiding them to safety. Certain things stand out to me sort of like an error or breaking over and over in your mind such as the first line. I miss what I never had? Hummm...peculiar to miss something you have never had so how do you know you miss it? I cry for the future I cry for the dates that will go bad for the dreams that will make me mad sad broken torn up inside. Tell me oh so greatly how I am fatal to myself before I am chewed up in my life by the ever-gearing need to eat the sour grapes of wrath. In my naked needs I dance I flow I linger on in the night haunting those that watch me like a fire fly haunting childhood memories.
Druken_Poet: Nothing can ever be the same as it once was when we were children. Days are gone life is now restricted at sunset though I am allowed to break out of the normal ties that bines me in my flesh stealing the words the movements that I once only relished as a child. I am looking forward to trying to recapture in sudden madness when dawn broaches the darkness memory will lapse once more when questioned about what took place you will say what ever do you mean. Oh what we do miss in the night which are nightmares we shed of growing up the need of our dreams eventually becomes over exhausting now for the tears now for the overwhelming memories drive us mad and with only the night and her dancing fairies that allow our madness certain sanctuary for reprieve.
Druken_Poet: Dance with me in the night see where our memories will take us in release to madness's inclination to superimpose a life on us that only once seemed much like a nightmare. The moonlight has a way of turning us into masochistic dirty whores that do her dirty work. THE END

Pristine Eyes
The night has me chasing after her as I stare deep into her pristine eyes I fall from a weakness in my knees. I am worn out from being violated again and again. Penetration flowing deep into my mind. At a whim I am chasing after the cosmic energy in a dash to catch the whirlwind of motions that are there to be gathered by outstretched hands. I am afraid to close my eyes because when I wake from this moment I fear the motions of my usefulness will have been caught and drawn out of my heart. These emotions overpower my body they break me down the longer I am down on my knees.
Druken_Poet: In my mind I will be trapped because when I look up I am caught caged into the trap which is that of my body I will see that really I have been caught by age and then see that I am a matter for decay. My stomach is churning inside and out trying to keep itself full and not relieving itself in the attempt to black out and confide in my subconscious mind. I see colored spots of heaven clouding over in my vision my judgment failing to recognize what I have always been able to realize. The closer I come to understanding what it is that draws me deeper into the nights pristine vision the farther away I truly get to finding what I think is real.
Druken_Poet: The things which hurt you dig themselves in as I try to remove my flesh the jokes are open and tearing away at my flesh and don't tell me it wasn't so when it was dear mommy and daddy the hideous visions I see at night keep me awake. I don't know why I sleep only after I die each night in the arms of death's kisses. I run in circles as I try to avoid the pace of the moons approach I close my eyes and walk ahead pressing my soul deeper to relax to show the night that I am not her prey to victimize sometimes ravage me yes destroy me no for I am the hunter the devious one in the shadows lurking only to find my savage roots that blow in as the light extinguishes and the shadows grow.
Druken_Poet: The end.

"The Pain of God"
wigglyworm_going_down: You filthy whore I who was there torn out of my thoughts are the cause for the pain I feel.

I am violated, desecrated, raped of all of my senses my whole self-becoming empty.

I look out of myself to see if there can be made something of my existence but there is nothing beyond the hate that I have driving me to kill you.

wigglyworm_going_down: In my absence of faith you make me feel pure of what I am the loathing that grows underneath tight flesh penetrates me speaking to me like placid clouds of hallucinating contrite forcing me out of my head.

I am afraid I can't help myself to the needs I feel stuck with when all I want is to find some way to make you feel empty like me.

Take from me what you think you can because when it comes time I am going to take it out on you this wrath I need to release to you I will come for you sleep now for later you wont be able to find your rest.

wigglyworm_going_down: You filthy whore I will fuck you up can you feel the pain as I drive the center of my rage into you as I feel it searing my flesh and eroding away at my mind as each second passes my life diminishes?

Do what you feel best run if you think you can find a refuge to hide in when night falls and my heart has bled completely away I will show you nothing is sacred there is no god our pain is the emptiness the barren placement of self dissolving in acids.

I am not afraid to die for my convictions for I am what I was born doing what suits me and what I was created to do was follow my desire and kill those that break me into pieces.

wigglyworm_going_down: The pain of god is the pain of man no god no man no man no god exists enough to know the dangers of the second coming no more life no more thoughts I die you die we follow each other. God is for I think and once I cease my thought god's pain begins too.

I am just crazy and you will see even if you don't care I will force you to see what I have inside of me that causes our pain no god your god might try and take me away but just stay with me a little while I will fix you up so you can see.

wigglyworm_going_down: What I feel you will know you might realize when you are left stained what tainted love can do or when you are left depressed and obsessed with believing you can be helped by god but if you ever saw there are no such things as super hero's or gods then you learn the pain of chaos and emptiness go in hand.

The ideas tossing and turn yearning to be bleached out of your head you seek death you desire fulfillment to a means to end your suffering you cry you dine on life's necessary diet of poisons but nothing will finish you completely off cowards we are men, mice and the such.

wigglyworm_going_down: Look out believers the truth is there look to long to hard maybe you might just see right straight through and lose your mind lose yourself find the priest who ass fucks for delight and tells you god approves of such delights. Yes you can easily be fucked over no last minute crusades only mass hysteria might cleanse the spirit in its urge to cleanse the flesh of death mayhem and destruction why not begin your rampant march of death find in you what I see in myself once you understand why you are empty nothing ever feels the same.
wigglyworm_going_down: The End

I am decay's worst nightmare the fear I show when you look at me is nil in the comparison of those afraid of catching my disease. I open my mouth up wide see for yourself where my distain might devour you I am found. Where other's destitutions unfold I am found hollow and whole. As I open wide, to show you my deep underside my tongue will swirl around like a delightful lover's tongue in search for union. What delights might be found in me might be from you. The horrors you find inside will only be the decimations I succeed in sucking out of you. Place no blame upon me for the things you have knowledge of and things I that which intrigue me only become reality by my needs to become true to showing you the reality of life through me. Often in times of my own needs the reality of what others want out of me only intensifies the ambiguities of my own reticent self. I can protest against such feelings inside of myself but when I stare deeper into the inconsolable silence standing between yourself and myself the madness I find really makes the depravity I feel come to life. Although, you hope to find in me love you find yourself like a mirror intensities divide between us the person you see before you is not the person you feel standing out and looking at the reflections passing back to us.
wigglyworm_going_down: There are no perfections or incomplete desolations no places to hide no places to run away to. Think of it you and I we are tied together lovers united with one goal one passion lovers to be who are entangled in a fantastic union. You hate me but I love you together what are we? We might be built like stars made of a collision of the impossible faults that one hates while the other loves. Whose stands out more me because I am the diseased half of you that you hope will be shed eventually or you since I make you spiral downward. What are these dreams we dream of do we dream them together as one being or do you dream them and I am only there watching you fulfill them as you make them seem real? I wonder if you will love me if I die for you to show you my love is real? Alive am I when I feel as though attached to you in ways that make me know I am driving you insane deeper are my ways of love my madness is only just my precarious way of showing you how much I care for the both of us. I wear a grin each time I see you feel the pain I cause us. I see you smiling when you think you have worn me out. Do you think you will bleed my heart to death by blocking me out of your mental thoughts and sharing smaller portions of your dreams at night? What do you think will happen do you think I will go mad beat myself in the head our head your head is my head. Do you honestly believe I am so fragile that you can take me out of this world so easily make me decay before I can show you my resolutions are whole? I have the control you have the words I have the power of your body you speak your mind but what can it do to me when all I am is just another part of you. I will ask you one final question do you think this fight will ever be finished do you believe our power struggle will ever be won you with your might of mind mine with the power to decimate you by abusing our physical prowl ness? In the end you are the night and I am the day fight me and you fight nothing because we are the same.

Wiggle_worm_going_down written by him

Need I say more???


Shape my mind! She repeats herself she repeats herself she finds
herself repeating herself. How many times does she repeat herself she
repeats herself as many times as it takes to remind herself that she
repeats herself. She learns to displace herself to forget that she
repeats herself again she finds herself repeating herself meaning,
combining, thinking, those important words she repeats to herself.
Subconscious mind unraveling within time she finds her conscious
streams of fluid forms her very words repeat she finds herself in
nature as an animal with no beat, no memory, no thoughts,that can be
kept she is lost she is found touching herself with forgotten desire.
She repeats herself to our displeasure we lose our motives of
pleasure as we hear her repeat herself transposing her own
transgressions through repeated pleasuring desire for herself. We are
left more alone to shape ourselves to define our minds. She repeats
herself as many times as it takes to acknowledge that she repeats
herself she loses herself we are ourself witnesses to her repeating
herself.
The End

Orgasm


A stolen heart,
Lays beneath my kiss.
A Hot breath.
Barely caught.
A gasp.
A soft whimper.
Deep in your belly.
Lava flows in orgasm.
It seems to,
Go on forever.
I control its flow.
Its ebb.
Its rise again,
To a deeper place.
Where the soul and heart,
Become one white hot nugget.
Of passion, love,
Blooming.
A mushroom.
Filling your whole being.
An exquisite release.
Every cell explodes,
In this crimson fire.
Only to be led,
To a new place.
Where my soul and heart,
Greet thee once again.
On this higher plain,
And you, forever, belong,
Only to me.

Bo...8/19/03

Need I say more this write has a lot of emotion put into it from the Song Prince!!! He is one of the members of my erotic poetry group that definetly needs mentioning!!! Holy hell this poem is smoking hot and hold on to your foreskins men this is a winner boys.... Muah Cassandra

Well I took a few pictures and if you want to see them you can view one there at this sight lol if not thats your problem I think I look cute to say the least?!!! Cassandra

Well Cassandra has gone and done it he he he. What you ask? Grins very happily I went and got my self pierced a couple of times and a tat is on the way of Sandmans artwork on my shoulder very sexy if you ask me!!! Tomorrow I am going to dye my hair a firey red color and add a few black streaks for good measure... around the front part of the hair towards the bangs and get a good hair cut pamper myself a little bit... Haven't done that in a while but I need to do something with all the time I have been working lately which hasn't let me do anything I want to do but work and no play. I am getting my navel pierced navel pierced next week and getting my tat set up for when I get some time off work. Grins things are finally looking up and hopefully I will get a car soon.... I say please please please get a car soon because bicycling to work is a bitch specially with 17 hour days....

But I will get a web cam soon so that I can show off my piercings to the fullest besides losing weight does wonders to your ego let me tell you lol. You look all soft and curvy which helps with those nice leather pants that I bought. I have a nice belt to go with them and a firey red shirt to go with I think I will turn a few heads tomorrow what do you think? With my hair, the clothes, and a nice soft lavender perfume I think I will get the reaction I deserve which is holy shit she is a freak on wheels lol.. Just kidding I was being a little funny here. Lack of sleep with do that to you and sleep deprivation specially with Cassandra isn't too pretty cause her addittude goes down a few notches.... Well I am out of here till tomorrow talk to you later Muah

Hello its the overworked under payed work a holic that can't seem to get enough of the dreary life of my hospital germ infested place thats needs no mentioning her due to sue happy shit heads. But non the less do not ever if you want to keep your sanity and not feel like you are becoming one of the residents work 17 hour days if you can so help it. My life is cruising around the Starbucks that is happily only a few short blocks away from a orgasmic experience with a delectable coffee flavor that I am crushing on Mocha Malt Venti. Yeah baby. HOLY HELL that is the best stuff on earth and I already have my frequent flyer miles saved up so tomorrow all my coffee is free since I always seem to have starbucks runs for my fellow nurses which helps me get free coffee everytime I go. They haven't figured out that I volunteer so that they can pay for my coffee he he he. Evil and nice SO basically I have an alternative motive for happily aggreeing to get coffee when I know that basically they are getting my coffee for free and I also get tips for going which they let me keep the change which means that I get more coffee later?!! Evil and scheming yes but hey it works and keeps me in the favorite thing that I like my coffee addiction that seems to make me happy?!! Better than sex I am not sure about that but it sure does kick up the taste buds and I am zinging aroung my work station and happy to be there until my coffee kick is over. Since that I have to be at work tomorrow at 7:00 then I will be leaving around 6:15 so that I can be there before 7:00 in the morning and start getting my group dressed and I hope that none of my residents are shower days because they seem to take up too much time and throws your schedule off wack.... Well I need to wake up early and get some sleep. Nothing much happening except that I am trying to buy a car and hopefully in January I will have enough tax returns readily available to pay for an automobile that I will have to name of course. My favorite thing to do is to name my favorite gadgets just in case you do not know this. My bike is called Jake because hell I do not know but I think its better to be riding a male than a female any day!!! Sorry about that any ladies that might be offended with that statement lol.... Muah I am outta here...

I am completely and utterly exhausted mind, body, and soul with little will power to carry my tired frame with feet pushing the pedals of my bike. Even the power and ideas of typing this blog journal is hard to do with little or no sleep and living off of Starbucks to energize my tired body. I have almost reached my limits of human endurance of 17 hour days more than 5 days a week. I am looking forward to Saturday off where I am going to sleep in a blissful state of Nyquil coma drugged sleep of the dammed.... My neck muscles seem to have grown very tense and hurtful towards me without relaxing in the slightest. I can feel every muscle bunch and pull in its own accord without ever once even considering the possiblity of showing a little mercy on me and just RELAX?!! Is that at all possible in my current state of a over worked (WORK HORSE) That is all right now that I feel that I am good at. I can't seem to focus enough of my thoghts to write a decent blog entry right now so I appologize if this doesn't make sense to you in any way. Hell I do not know if it makes sense to me or not so forgiveness is divine if your that type. My eyelids are slowly creeping down over my eyeballs so I must cut this short and just take a shower and throw my body into bed. Lift the covers over my head and blanket myself against the world without any one interferring with my sleep. I love you all and goodnight. Leave me a message or something if you so feel inclined to do so because I know several of you people are reading without the courteousy of a message. Grins my weak tired smile which looks more like a frown then a smile goodnight. Muah

Well I am in the don't ask tell policy because fuck heads which will remain nameless seem to endlessly piss me off to where I am fuming out the mouth looking like cujo who is about to be shot and put to sleep. I am so damm angry right now because of lack of responsibility on one's part that I could scream. (Breathes in a deep breathe and holds it so that she doesn't sponateanously combusts from being down right in a super frenzy brujah fighting mood) Besides the fact that I continue to be lied to which is no real big surprise and that the lack of consideration on one's part is beyond contemplation I can only fathom that one is born without an adequate amount of brain power??? Riddle me this?!!! DO you have a working brain cell in that under populated space for rent there or what??? Sigh?!!! I have been working too much to even properly write here and I am definetly not lacking in the info department but I will have to owe some huge updates later when I find the time between working 17 hours a day, sleeping, eating, riding my bike to work, and in there somewhere is much needed hygiene that I can't even possibly go without?!! What do I do with all that much needed sweat removal and yucky stuff at work that I will not mention for all those with sensitive stomaches!!!! Believe me it is not pretty let me tell you.

Well enough on that I am killing myself currently for a car which I have to hopefully get the down payment for in two or three months or less?!!! I am working towards killing myself with overtime to come up with 3 thousand for a nice down on a beautiful car of my choosing??!!! Possible you say I think so and I am willing to die trying?!! A single parent is the world's most ingenius and hard working female on the planet?!!! I tip my hat to all those ladies out there in worst conditions than I may GOD see you through all your troubles!!! Hell I could use a huge hug and a massage anything for a massage baby. aaaah shudders as some forceful fingers are massaging my tired muscles to ecstacy and leaves me in a semi coma state for awhile. Hell I am looking forward to that daydream and I walk around zombie like tending to the needs of my residents while telling myself its all for a good cause and eventually I will have a car and will not have to bike to work 14 miles a day or more!!! GO me. Hell weight loss is not a problem right now I am shedding the pounds away as I bike more and more miles to work and about kill myself!!! Who can I depend on to help me no one but myself?!!! I have learned the hard way that no one will ever take care of me but me!! All others are to be trusted but only so far because I can only disappoint myself and that's good enough for me at this point in my life. I will save marriage or the nunery for another part of my life hopefully the last remaining years because I am through with the dating scene let me live with a moments peace and nice friends to see me through. Well Kiddos I am out of here hope that you are well and happy and I will be talking to you later about the mundane activities of my life. Chow Cassandra

The most beautiful and heavenly place on earth that can titalate your taste buds and leave them hungering for more (I have a huge cost budget for that sort of thing) and never seemingly satisfied with just one. Starbucks of course. I have currently going through the most meanest toughest indulgence of my life is there ice cream coffee's that I am sucking down by two a day habit that is costing me a fortune. I think I will get a second job to support my Starbucks habit and start a support group for those who can't get enough of that and can't afford food either. Its either eat lunch or go to starbucks. And you know which one I have been choosing of course starbucks baby!!!! Oh well who needs to eat when you got lovely coffee to seduce your senses in a taste bud orgasm? Hmmm? I ask you what??? But of course there is no correct answer to this dilema of mine!!!!!!!! I am fortunate that I might get hired there pretty soon and all that will be free. Who cares that it is a minium wage job its only part time but the drinks I will consume on a daily basis will more than make up for the petty amount they want to pay me. I will consume at least 20 an hour of wages in about two days go me?!!! And the weight loss continues thanks to a very trenous ride in the fucking heat back and forth to work!!! Dear God my life for a car so that I can work more and get to two jobs in stead of one!!!! I have the opportunity to buy a car from a friend at work and I will see to it that I get it for a 1000. I can have that payed off in two months if I work a shit load of over time at my work which is currently available right now. I have made arrangements for rides to work and I will have to bicycle my happy ass home?!!! (that is an oxymoron if I ever heard one) Cassie has just made a terrrible joke and I do not hear you laughing!!! Here is the dilema right now that I am facing alone and desperately in need of a miracle baby a all powerful God answering miracle of grand porportions. here it is folks.... Cassandra works at her job but getting the kids to and from daycare is solely on my hands and it takes me 30 minutes to bicyle to work. I only have one bike and no way to get kids to and from plus take my daughter to day care plus get her to school. My next dilema fit that in a tiny amount of time like one hour before 3:00 which time I have to bike to work and get them there. Hince you see my problem no transportation no way for me to work I get homeless: kids get taken away : cassie is one unhappy femme and I will most likely die from frustration?!!! Where is the justice in this all?!!! You tell me??? Cassandra is so screwed it is not even funny?!!! God help the single mothers out there in the world they need a break like now please!!! Well I got to do laundry a womens work is never done and I haven't even started yet. Please forgive the negative vibe here I am slightly depressed and my future looks bleak. Ohh the life of a saint is never easy.... GRINS see ya later.....