Everything

I have rewritten this a couple of times and still it seems so damm harsh to me I dont know how to sugar coat anything. Wondering if im going to be waiting forever for something that isnt even going to happen... Thinking of moving with my cousin in Mississippi that is guaranteed nothing else here is. I think that my hope is pretty much dashed at the moment really dashed im like one step away from failure serious failure and there isnt nothing I can do about it either. If one thing happens on the truck im screwed nothing i can do with it but just walk away from everything kids family everyone. Cause I dont fail but something has to happen or everything is lost im not looking forward to my options either better to give up entirely where at least they would be happy then nothing. Im going to decide at the end of the month what im going to do but im thinking im just going to give the kids back to the mutual parents and say fuck it and try to get my shit together and then get them back if I can which I know Cassie isn't even an option but im not doing what im supposed to about getting a job cause its just not working. IDK what to do anymore but my hope is dashed my faith my love my dreams kinda done. Im failing and im not use to failure you know whatever im determined to have or do usually i move heaven and earth to have it get it or possess it but even I am not able to do it this time.... sad