The Meltdown

You may leave your complaints to the bitching department otherwise post a comment on my handy dandy upgrades to my blog. :::grins:::

Had a complete lapse in sanity a moment where i was like wtf im inpatient was talking to the bf and he didn't respond took like 20 minutes still nothing. Got mad text and then still nothing... Called and then was like it went to voicemail which pretty much set me off for the night of just being completely irate and emotional. He called back while i was texting him which i accidently hit reject when i was texting trying to send which sucks god damm small buttons. Makes my fingers feel large when i know i have tiny ass fingers in the first place this phone is made for a god damm little person but then again if im not mistaken they got fat chubby little fingers like babys. Told the bf that i would talk to him after i calmed down talked to my mother on the phone because she called me during my jog yes i jog just really hate to jog rather walk long distances at fast paces specially when im tired. She actually made me feel better had me crying on the phone on the end because my mother reminded me what the little things are and i was being a Diva today and it was my bday. Gavin texted me back which guess what the stinking cell phone which everyone and there dog was using today it was freaking dead like DOA dead so guess what another frustrated day of guess what no damm texting or messages passed to one of the few people i enjoy talking to other then my besties. Got home felt like complete dog shit cause i ran all the way home like a the devil was on my back cause i said give me five minutes i will be home. Honestly it took more like 15 or 20 minutes because a) was further away from house then i thought i was b) got distracted trying to find the damm charger which it wasn't where i put it no big surprise there c) after all that mess of finally finding it i had to put jade to bed because she was still up wanting to sleep with me. All this with the stupid car blowing a tire more money to spend more money to spend which i have been trying not to spend any what so ever and wham something else happens this happens that happens. At this point Bf's texting me and all of a sudden i couldn't for the love of me stop crying it just poured out of me. Texting while blurry thats a winner, blow my nose, and then cry some more. 20 minutes later still no better then i was before but now im tired... Bf is still texting me which in my mind we probally should of been talking at this point but no matter... Honestly i think i was just tired, stressed, annoyed, and virtually everything that could of gone wrong did.... So Cassie wasn't wearing her big girl pants today she needed to cry just a little bit and maybe tomorrow wont feel so insane.... I thanks Megan for the gifts she brought me and that omg insanely good pie that fell in my lap and of course i made a hella funny statement that wont be posted here but was food for thought for everyone. Hmmmmm maybe ill try it later zomg... Going to bed now that i finally made peace with myself wondering if im suffering from post partum depression thinking of going to see a doctor really dont like doctors but this is ridiculous i really dont remember the last time i cried for no reason or just being miserable and moody! Im like wth people throw me a bone here... alright going to bed will write later when something is good enough to put in here... Got to hand it to the bf for putting up with me i feel insane right now can't sleep eat irratable impatient cant eat tired wide awake depressed wth....