Patch Adams:
Things to live by
I watched this movie once and knew absolutely what I wanted to be career wise and the nurse I wanted to be. I lack some of his charming characteristics such has to give humor and intelligence in the face of adversity. When I see something wrong I try to correct the problem immediately and when I see injustice I try to rectify the situation. I have this problem of speaking exactly what's on my mind no matter the outcome. Although some of you might think this is an excellent trait but it gets you know where in the work field. I have seen a lot of patient neglect in my life caused by other cna's and reported them immediately. Although this is the right thing to do in the situation it doesn't win you any brownie points with the staff who particularly likes that person. I realize the error of reporting it but would not have changed the situation even given the initial reaction from my fellow co-workers. If they can only put themselves in that residents position usually I like to think of them as my family and what would I do if that was my mother. Sidenote: Although my mother and I do not particularly get along in many instances in our lives there remains the basic fact that I love her dearly and do not want to see any harm to her. My residents are like an extended version of my family in the regard that they need tender loving care. With the right amount of human touch which includes but is not limited to listening, smiling, touching, and caring for a human being who is one of our greatest treasures on the planet. They have so much knowledge and creativity left in there bodies that just giving a small amount of your time to pay attention to them could mean the difference in there lives. Sometimes there families are busy and they need a little hug from time to time to let them know that someone cares for them. People do not often realize the emotional changes they feel when they are left in strange place with different people coming in and out of there living space. I know personally I have my favorites at the place where I work because they are usually the more difficult residents that I have. Take Floyd who is the greatest and sweetest person on the planet who can at times be combative if you do not approach him correctly. I frequently go out of my way to give him something extra which includes hugs, talking, stories, candy, cake, drinks, and last but not least someone to listen to him when he is trying to communicate. He has my total respect because he is fighting a disease that is crippling mentally and he is winning a long term battle by just being the sweet heart that he is. His loving wife is there for him which is a testament to her loyalty as a wife. Not many people would take the mentally ailing spouse and love them for better or worse and take it to the heart like she has done. My amazement comes in the gentle way she continues to visit him almost daily and devote so much time to her husband. If that isn't LOVE I do not know what is. Plus there are times when her husband recognizes her and immediately tells her he loves her. And you can see the immediate glow of satisfaction as she says to him that you are the love of my life. I personally want a love like that which defies all normal restraints or convictions. So my lesson for the day is to continue giving the human touch to all your residents no matter if they are responsive or not because you do not know how much of there human capacity to understand is there. Because maybe just maybe you are making a small difference in the lives of residents that you do not even know because they do not have the ability to say in words what they are feeling. That some small satisfaction comes when you know that you have given your all to your resident and at the end of your shift you can leave home knowing that somehow you have made a difference. That is something I live for when I see them smiling just because you have given them a cookie or there little face lights up when you tell them you are happy to see them. That's what gives me the warm fuzzes when I go home knowing that I am being the best CNA possible to my residents and that I have given it my all.
Well that enough for right now talk to you later...I am out of here muah to all...
Sometimes the best love of all is given freely away without thought of a reward or something in return. That way you do not really know what effect you truly have like a the rippling effect of a rock thrown in water. The ripples can go on forever but eventually they maybe too large to see but they still are felt.
Monday, October 20, 2003
Sunday, October 19, 2003
Hell on Earth
Hell on Earth
I have to go to work everyday with two charge nurses breathing down my neck for some unknown reason they have taken a dislike for me. I know for a fact that I am on of the best CNA's on the floor there. I have my reviews to prove this because I have never been written up for anything so far which I do not give them a reason to write me up. I got cussed at the other day by a fellow CNA named Tony who when ask for help from a particularly difficult resident I got several cuss words later told no I help who I want. I was like alright went and got Sandra to help me who was wondering why I didn't ask my CNA closest to me to help. I relayed the message to Sandra which he obliged her with a colorful display of langauge to my person. I know in my heart telling him that he wonders why he is getting deported is wrong and a little petty but you can only take so much verbal abuse before you mouth gets the better of your brain. Being called a bitch only made me want to smash his face in with my fists but you can't do that in civilized society so I will settle for the Good lord to get even with him. Now I have to worry about two charge nurses breathing down my back because he ran to them saying I did something racist towards him without him saying anything to me in the first place. I have had to deal with them playing favorites with charge nurses before on more than one occasion where they get to have hour long lunches and me having to wait for them to get off the floor before I can go to my own break or lunch. I know I need to get another job quick fast and in a hurry because the abuse has taken on to the other CNA dishing it out so that they can stay on her good side. I wonder how well they sleep at night considering they let them get away with Neglect so many times in there life??? HMMM I hope that they get the same treatment that those residents do when they are stuck in a retirement home.
Well enough complaining I have to go to work again which is no picnic in the park and deal with another days ration of shit on a daily basis. I wonder how well this is going to work out when I am getting tired of it and they know it. Best way I think to deal with there hatred is with silence. Just ignore them entirely and deal with the shit that comes with being an outsider as usual.
Cassandra
I have to go to work everyday with two charge nurses breathing down my neck for some unknown reason they have taken a dislike for me. I know for a fact that I am on of the best CNA's on the floor there. I have my reviews to prove this because I have never been written up for anything so far which I do not give them a reason to write me up. I got cussed at the other day by a fellow CNA named Tony who when ask for help from a particularly difficult resident I got several cuss words later told no I help who I want. I was like alright went and got Sandra to help me who was wondering why I didn't ask my CNA closest to me to help. I relayed the message to Sandra which he obliged her with a colorful display of langauge to my person. I know in my heart telling him that he wonders why he is getting deported is wrong and a little petty but you can only take so much verbal abuse before you mouth gets the better of your brain. Being called a bitch only made me want to smash his face in with my fists but you can't do that in civilized society so I will settle for the Good lord to get even with him. Now I have to worry about two charge nurses breathing down my back because he ran to them saying I did something racist towards him without him saying anything to me in the first place. I have had to deal with them playing favorites with charge nurses before on more than one occasion where they get to have hour long lunches and me having to wait for them to get off the floor before I can go to my own break or lunch. I know I need to get another job quick fast and in a hurry because the abuse has taken on to the other CNA dishing it out so that they can stay on her good side. I wonder how well they sleep at night considering they let them get away with Neglect so many times in there life??? HMMM I hope that they get the same treatment that those residents do when they are stuck in a retirement home.
Well enough complaining I have to go to work again which is no picnic in the park and deal with another days ration of shit on a daily basis. I wonder how well this is going to work out when I am getting tired of it and they know it. Best way I think to deal with there hatred is with silence. Just ignore them entirely and deal with the shit that comes with being an outsider as usual.
Cassandra
Friday, October 17, 2003
Ten reasons why Trick or Treat is better than sex...
10 Reasons Trick or Treating is better than SEX
10. You're guaranteed to get at least a
little something in the sack.
(There is a guarantee in life holy hell man I wish that I knew this earlier wink wink)
9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes
and go at it again.
(Tired who gets tired on Halloween...dip into that candy bag and grap a mouth full of candy and watch your blood sugar level soar to new heights)
8. The uglier you look, the easier
it is to get some.
(Great then I am in the running for Ghoul of the year award a most coveted event filled with a lot of peeps vying for moi's spot)
7. You don't have to compliment the
person who gave you candy.
(Nope you don't all you have to do is try your best to scare the utter wits out of the person passing the candy to get a real treat)
6. The person giving you candy doesn't
fantasize you're someone else.
(Hell I fantasize that your someone else all the time specially when I stick a bag over your head and pretend that you are Vin Diesel)
5. If you get a stomach ache,
it won't last 9 months.
(Can you imagine the nine month stomache ache and not be knocked up?)
4. If you wear your Batman mask,
no one thinks you're kinky.
(I might think you are kinky but I promise not to tell anyone if you prove me right!!!)
3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear
you moaning and groaning.
(They want to hear you make the scary sounds to cause nightmares because fear is all about Halloween)
2. You'll feel less guilt the next morning.
(Guilt? Does someone have guilt the next day hell I must be past all that shit cause I am usually snoozing away happily in dream land!)
1. If you don't get what you want,
you can always go next door!!
(I wish but I have seen my neighbors and I am telling you it ain't pretty)
10. You're guaranteed to get at least a
little something in the sack.
(There is a guarantee in life holy hell man I wish that I knew this earlier wink wink)
9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes
and go at it again.
(Tired who gets tired on Halloween...dip into that candy bag and grap a mouth full of candy and watch your blood sugar level soar to new heights)
8. The uglier you look, the easier
it is to get some.
(Great then I am in the running for Ghoul of the year award a most coveted event filled with a lot of peeps vying for moi's spot)
7. You don't have to compliment the
person who gave you candy.
(Nope you don't all you have to do is try your best to scare the utter wits out of the person passing the candy to get a real treat)
6. The person giving you candy doesn't
fantasize you're someone else.
(Hell I fantasize that your someone else all the time specially when I stick a bag over your head and pretend that you are Vin Diesel)
5. If you get a stomach ache,
it won't last 9 months.
(Can you imagine the nine month stomache ache and not be knocked up?)
4. If you wear your Batman mask,
no one thinks you're kinky.
(I might think you are kinky but I promise not to tell anyone if you prove me right!!!)
3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear
you moaning and groaning.
(They want to hear you make the scary sounds to cause nightmares because fear is all about Halloween)
2. You'll feel less guilt the next morning.
(Guilt? Does someone have guilt the next day hell I must be past all that shit cause I am usually snoozing away happily in dream land!)
1. If you don't get what you want,
you can always go next door!!
(I wish but I have seen my neighbors and I am telling you it ain't pretty)
Things that get under my skin
Things that get under my skin...
I go to work everyday dreading a certain charge nurse who is a total and utter bitch to several of us CNA's which it's expected from her. But there comes a point when covering up certain CNA's neglectful disregard for his residents safety should draw the line. I don't know how to solve a problem that has been there for awhile. I can see a lot of in justice where I work at but hey if the charge nurses cover for him what can I do. When I voice my opinion about how sloppy he does I get into more trouble by actually doing my own work because they have benefits to being the charge nurses favorite. I know in my heart that I do more than what an average CNA does because I tend to do more just because I take pride in my work. Even when we are down CNA's due to whatever various reasons they call in. I still do more than the others because to me my pride shows in the way I care for my residents because they silently know what you do to them. I got a great compliment from Floyd's wife Sandra tonight saying that they were really happy that I looked after there husband. (which isn't my resident) I go out of my way to help him because he has a special place in my heart. He is a ex NAVY SEAL who due to head injury when he was in a submarine messed up his memory perception. But I see the kindness and gentleness when I go out of my way to give him a hug. Tell him he is my hero for fighting the good fight and give him his favorite treat which is junk food. Not that it is actually sticking to his ribs because he walks it off pacing the halls trying to catch invisible bugs. But he will search me out to talk to me because he remembers my kindness to him by bringing him Candy Bars and Ice Cream followed that with a glass of milk and he is in soldier heaven. Yeah there has been several times where I had to talk him down and remind him that he doesn't hit women. Which if he was thinking clearly he would never do because that was his nature. But there are times when he is completely aware and he talks to me telling me his stories. I watch him silently dance with his wife smile and tell her he loves her which I know she lives for. She hasn't abandoned her husband and takes her vows seriously for better or for worse. I find hope and faith in there relationship that they could overcome a potentially devastating disease that they together as a couple are dealing with. Her dedication to him has earned my respect and I look out for him any way I can. I can talk him down from getting extremely violent which you can see that MURDER DEATH KILL look in his eyes a mile away. But honestly he doesn't scare me at all because I know that somewhere in there logic will penetrate that brain of his and register some sense in him. He makes me smile because I play a game with him where I hug him and tell to hug me later if he wants to. Usually he will see me by the end of the day and say come here which usually means he wants his hug. What amazes me is his ability to overcome the situation which his brain isn't functioning correctly and come out with his spirit still attached. He amazes me because he is still the most fun loving guy on the planet who has his lady by the palm of his hand. She loves him more now then I think she ever did because she can appreciate the man he was, the man he is, and the man she wishes she had.
I am more than blessed to have him as a resident and I thank God that he gave me the opportunity to see a different side of humanity to realize how much I got to be thankful for.
Well good night I am tired talk to you later... Alloira
I go to work everyday dreading a certain charge nurse who is a total and utter bitch to several of us CNA's which it's expected from her. But there comes a point when covering up certain CNA's neglectful disregard for his residents safety should draw the line. I don't know how to solve a problem that has been there for awhile. I can see a lot of in justice where I work at but hey if the charge nurses cover for him what can I do. When I voice my opinion about how sloppy he does I get into more trouble by actually doing my own work because they have benefits to being the charge nurses favorite. I know in my heart that I do more than what an average CNA does because I tend to do more just because I take pride in my work. Even when we are down CNA's due to whatever various reasons they call in. I still do more than the others because to me my pride shows in the way I care for my residents because they silently know what you do to them. I got a great compliment from Floyd's wife Sandra tonight saying that they were really happy that I looked after there husband. (which isn't my resident) I go out of my way to help him because he has a special place in my heart. He is a ex NAVY SEAL who due to head injury when he was in a submarine messed up his memory perception. But I see the kindness and gentleness when I go out of my way to give him a hug. Tell him he is my hero for fighting the good fight and give him his favorite treat which is junk food. Not that it is actually sticking to his ribs because he walks it off pacing the halls trying to catch invisible bugs. But he will search me out to talk to me because he remembers my kindness to him by bringing him Candy Bars and Ice Cream followed that with a glass of milk and he is in soldier heaven. Yeah there has been several times where I had to talk him down and remind him that he doesn't hit women. Which if he was thinking clearly he would never do because that was his nature. But there are times when he is completely aware and he talks to me telling me his stories. I watch him silently dance with his wife smile and tell her he loves her which I know she lives for. She hasn't abandoned her husband and takes her vows seriously for better or for worse. I find hope and faith in there relationship that they could overcome a potentially devastating disease that they together as a couple are dealing with. Her dedication to him has earned my respect and I look out for him any way I can. I can talk him down from getting extremely violent which you can see that MURDER DEATH KILL look in his eyes a mile away. But honestly he doesn't scare me at all because I know that somewhere in there logic will penetrate that brain of his and register some sense in him. He makes me smile because I play a game with him where I hug him and tell to hug me later if he wants to. Usually he will see me by the end of the day and say come here which usually means he wants his hug. What amazes me is his ability to overcome the situation which his brain isn't functioning correctly and come out with his spirit still attached. He amazes me because he is still the most fun loving guy on the planet who has his lady by the palm of his hand. She loves him more now then I think she ever did because she can appreciate the man he was, the man he is, and the man she wishes she had.
I am more than blessed to have him as a resident and I thank God that he gave me the opportunity to see a different side of humanity to realize how much I got to be thankful for.
Well good night I am tired talk to you later... Alloira
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Things I will miss...Things I never had...Things I will never get...Things I never want...
Things I will miss...Things I never had...Things I will never get...Things I never want...
I look at the past, future, present of my life and see so many possibilities that could happen but love that is something I can do without. I have experienced a little on what should or what could have been love if it would or could have developed into something different. But I am too damm angry to ever let someone in my heart that is not already there. That my delicate heart could ever fall for another person on this face of the planet would be a miracle in itself. I do believe that there are those that get love and those that don't. My chance has passed like others and I can't put myself into a position to ever get hurt again like I have been before. My nature of doing it by myself has grown into a position of self suffiency that to cross into unknown territory would be disasters to everything I know. My ideal romantic love still lives somewhere in my frozen blizzard you would call a heart. Somewhere in there deep down deep I believe there is someone for me but I am not necessarily in a position in my life to where I could ever want or need that person right now. I haven't humbled myself enough to ever desire to have a mate by myside that would be anything more than my heart, my life, my everything. I love my friends and live my life through them to a point where there happiness becomes my happiness but still I am on the outside looking in.
My friends (Carla and Cliff) whose little girl Allora whom I am instantly fond of and fell in love with the way she says Jo Jo her pretty little kitty. I like the way she looks at the world around her while constantly demanding a lot of things. I can tell already she has her parents rapped around her little finger. She has wrapped me around her tiny little fingers and I am helpless when I am around her even when she has poo on her fingers I didn't find her revolting. ::::Sigh::::: Those big blue eyes look at you with her big toothy grin. As soon as I get a picture to post in my picture album I will make mention to it there.
Sometimes the greatest little things in your life is those little things that an innocent can do to put a smile on your face when all your troubles seem to crash around your feet.
Mo asked if he could help me today when I called to remind him to call his daughter who has been bothering me talk with him. Honestly I could use the money but my pride in doing it myself prevents me from doing so. Hell if he really wanted to help he would have done so a long time ago in which this is what I think in the back of my mind. I know that on both sides we hold a serious grudge against real or imagined grievances against each other. But there comes a point when you have to suck up your irritation for each other and think what is best for the kid.
But there are pictures in my photo albums and picture please link on my page to tickle your interest here and there.
When I get off my lazy butt I will post a few more of my pictures when they are developed. Well good day to you or good night whatever time is where you are currently residing at.
Well I am out of here.
<3
I look at the past, future, present of my life and see so many possibilities that could happen but love that is something I can do without. I have experienced a little on what should or what could have been love if it would or could have developed into something different. But I am too damm angry to ever let someone in my heart that is not already there. That my delicate heart could ever fall for another person on this face of the planet would be a miracle in itself. I do believe that there are those that get love and those that don't. My chance has passed like others and I can't put myself into a position to ever get hurt again like I have been before. My nature of doing it by myself has grown into a position of self suffiency that to cross into unknown territory would be disasters to everything I know. My ideal romantic love still lives somewhere in my frozen blizzard you would call a heart. Somewhere in there deep down deep I believe there is someone for me but I am not necessarily in a position in my life to where I could ever want or need that person right now. I haven't humbled myself enough to ever desire to have a mate by myside that would be anything more than my heart, my life, my everything. I love my friends and live my life through them to a point where there happiness becomes my happiness but still I am on the outside looking in.
My friends (Carla and Cliff) whose little girl Allora whom I am instantly fond of and fell in love with the way she says Jo Jo her pretty little kitty. I like the way she looks at the world around her while constantly demanding a lot of things. I can tell already she has her parents rapped around her little finger. She has wrapped me around her tiny little fingers and I am helpless when I am around her even when she has poo on her fingers I didn't find her revolting. ::::Sigh::::: Those big blue eyes look at you with her big toothy grin. As soon as I get a picture to post in my picture album I will make mention to it there.
Sometimes the greatest little things in your life is those little things that an innocent can do to put a smile on your face when all your troubles seem to crash around your feet.
Mo asked if he could help me today when I called to remind him to call his daughter who has been bothering me talk with him. Honestly I could use the money but my pride in doing it myself prevents me from doing so. Hell if he really wanted to help he would have done so a long time ago in which this is what I think in the back of my mind. I know that on both sides we hold a serious grudge against real or imagined grievances against each other. But there comes a point when you have to suck up your irritation for each other and think what is best for the kid.
But there are pictures in my photo albums and picture please link on my page to tickle your interest here and there.
When I get off my lazy butt I will post a few more of my pictures when they are developed. Well good day to you or good night whatever time is where you are currently residing at.
Well I am out of here.
<3
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Be all you can be...
Tomorrow is the first day of starting a new life which I will more than likely be an army officer. I am going to go to the Army recruitment office tomorrow and see what type of education I can get out of the government. Plus see how I can get my kids taken care of while I am awhile in boot camp. I am seriously looking forward to being an army brat for once in my life. Why not I say? What the hell do I got to lose really? I have pissed off a lot of my life doing nothing but getting into trouble here and there. Having two kids to support by myself isn't easier at all for me which no one is helping me out except Brandon whom does all the things I can't because I am too dammed exhausted and I am sleeping by butt off. I have a really big day ahead of me while I am away which is no big deal if it goes the way I want it to. Things are going to get a little hectic pretty fast if things go according to plan?!!! All I can say is Pray for me I am going to need it just to run those damm miles they are going to want me to do. Boy eating all that junk food when I was younger is going to torture me to death by just shear weight in itself. Sheesh well thats enough talk about it. Maybe tomorrow I will have good news to talk about instead of serious conversation?!!
Goodnight muah Cassandra
Goodnight muah Cassandra
Monday, October 13, 2003
My Strange Dreams...
Alloiratheviking@aol.com Email me if you want to leave comments that are not posted to the public...
Well last night I had this most awesome dream to where I didn't want to wake up which I was pretty lazy getting out of bed. My dream was about a friend whom I am not quite sure his name because it was just on the tip of my tongue when I woke up but I forgot his name just his face and the general feel of the dream. Well I can describe him to you for all those gentale readers out there who might be interested. He has this wild hair of dark brown with slightly spiked hair and a nice smile with these beautiful blue eyes. I can remember the most amazing conversations with this person on a more intimate level. Its like his eyes could penetrate my soul or something. I can remember that we were going to a temple where we were not supposed to be which we got into anyways because we were the strange ones. I was forcefully woke up for work this morning but that is pretty much what I remember. But I know this person is very familiar to me that I have known him before somewhere because there was an attraction that was like deja vu that I can't explain what or how I knew him but I do. His clothing was even strange which was like some leather animal wear plus a red or dark colored wine shirt thats more peasant than anything I can readily name. Honestly it reminded me one of the characters from the scape which I know is not possible because its Sandman's Scape and not mine. Strange? Hmmm.... It goes back to the conversation that Sandman's says that he has seen me before but he only alludes to where he has seen me and not where and when. That kind of frustrates me to no end. But I am exceedly happy to go to bed hopefully to dream of the mysterious male in my life whom I am only friends with but intrigues me greatly.
Sighs I want more friends in my life so that I can actually get out more instead of spending my days off cleaning and hanging out with my kids. Hell yeah I am getting bored in my old age. Its really hard to belief that I am 27 years old instead of that rambling teenager who was really not sure what direction in her life. I would never go back there necessarily but hey I am here now. I might as well make the best of it. I really dread going into work tomorrow and dealing with all the headache that is going to be the misery of my life. I miss talking to my friends on my phone which is currently disconnected due to lack of payment on my part. Its my own fault if I hadn't got hit by that car I wouldn't be behind.
Well enough of that subject I must go to bed I have stayed up way too long.
Cassandra
Well last night I had this most awesome dream to where I didn't want to wake up which I was pretty lazy getting out of bed. My dream was about a friend whom I am not quite sure his name because it was just on the tip of my tongue when I woke up but I forgot his name just his face and the general feel of the dream. Well I can describe him to you for all those gentale readers out there who might be interested. He has this wild hair of dark brown with slightly spiked hair and a nice smile with these beautiful blue eyes. I can remember the most amazing conversations with this person on a more intimate level. Its like his eyes could penetrate my soul or something. I can remember that we were going to a temple where we were not supposed to be which we got into anyways because we were the strange ones. I was forcefully woke up for work this morning but that is pretty much what I remember. But I know this person is very familiar to me that I have known him before somewhere because there was an attraction that was like deja vu that I can't explain what or how I knew him but I do. His clothing was even strange which was like some leather animal wear plus a red or dark colored wine shirt thats more peasant than anything I can readily name. Honestly it reminded me one of the characters from the scape which I know is not possible because its Sandman's Scape and not mine. Strange? Hmmm.... It goes back to the conversation that Sandman's says that he has seen me before but he only alludes to where he has seen me and not where and when. That kind of frustrates me to no end. But I am exceedly happy to go to bed hopefully to dream of the mysterious male in my life whom I am only friends with but intrigues me greatly.
Sighs I want more friends in my life so that I can actually get out more instead of spending my days off cleaning and hanging out with my kids. Hell yeah I am getting bored in my old age. Its really hard to belief that I am 27 years old instead of that rambling teenager who was really not sure what direction in her life. I would never go back there necessarily but hey I am here now. I might as well make the best of it. I really dread going into work tomorrow and dealing with all the headache that is going to be the misery of my life. I miss talking to my friends on my phone which is currently disconnected due to lack of payment on my part. Its my own fault if I hadn't got hit by that car I wouldn't be behind.
Well enough of that subject I must go to bed I have stayed up way too long.
Cassandra
Saturday, October 11, 2003
A Poem from the wonderful Harlequinneyes...
Alloiratheviking@aol.com Email me if you want to leave comments that are not posted to the public...
Touchie-Feelie
Touch
with words that have no
sound
these sounds
that have no words
are all that I can give
to you
Words
they hold no touch
but this
and this is just a sound
that words
can give
I need to hold you
with a word
to show you with this
sound
that no one else will
hear but you
Just look
and hear the silent
word
the word that will
resound
in a touch that will
complete us two
Join
in words that make
the dance
a flowing river
trance
you call with your
eyes and hands
Kissed
the syllables just
miss
the heart of your
sweet kiss
you hold me in your
deep embrace
Taken
with the final sound
the dance keeps
spinning round
into the heat your
words are thrown
This need
it claims and then
release
into the void
you speak
into this emptiness
we creep
to call again
into our sleep
© Harlequinn Eyes
10/11/2003
Touchie-Feelie
Touch
with words that have no
sound
these sounds
that have no words
are all that I can give
to you
Words
they hold no touch
but this
and this is just a sound
that words
can give
I need to hold you
with a word
to show you with this
sound
that no one else will
hear but you
Just look
and hear the silent
word
the word that will
resound
in a touch that will
complete us two
Join
in words that make
the dance
a flowing river
trance
you call with your
eyes and hands
Kissed
the syllables just
miss
the heart of your
sweet kiss
you hold me in your
deep embrace
Taken
with the final sound
the dance keeps
spinning round
into the heat your
words are thrown
This need
it claims and then
release
into the void
you speak
into this emptiness
we creep
to call again
into our sleep
© Harlequinn Eyes
10/11/2003
My views on love and the ways of the universe...
Time for seriousness
Since I always right about something either sexual or perverted in nature I thought I would go back to the basics and write about love.
I keep getting asked have you ever been in love?
:::ANSWER:::
My immediate reaction is yes but do I mention that it took me awhile to recover my self esteem to actually look at men or boys in general without feeling a deep rooted hatred for them. That the mere act of a man flirting with me made me want to do bodily harm to them? I hit a depression in my life that took no less than 4 years to rediscover myself that I am strong enough to not cry myself to sleep at night. I realize to you that this may seem either pathetic or seriously emotionally distraught. But combine being a pregnant girl who's financial position in the world is void because she has her pregnancy makes her less desirable to hire her. Then having to go to church everyday where they wrote sermons around you like what happens if you follow the ways of sin and have sex before marriage. (Do you not see how miserable I am just go ahead and rub it deeper that I wasn't nothing more than a used piece of garbage who ultimately got knocked up for all the wrong reasons because he wanted to kill himself. That everything in his that came out of his mouth was a lie that he never loved you at all.) Knowing that I had to grow up immediately from this wild carefree girl to this mother of a child whom I know little or nothing of raising. But my love which I felt was a deep emotional void in my life that somehow the act of physically breathing hurt like hell. Have you ever missed someone on such an intense level that you physically hurt from not being with them that somewhere in your brain it misfires and sends painful electrical currents to remind you. Hey there loser you been dumped, knock up, and left to fend for yourself and your child. I can tell you honestly that I was bitter, hurt, angry, and in such a rage for the opposite sex that the mere whistling at me made me want to hit you. I would yell. " Can't you see jackass that I am about 3 months pregnant and not interested in you ruining my life further by your irresponsible behavior". ::::GRINS::::: He probally thought I was an insane women escaped from the hospital to whom got knocked up along the way?!!! Mostly my problem with being dumped at the time is not having the answers to my questions that usual break-up give you whatever answers to you so that you go away. I know now that he never loved me in the way that I loved him. That my sacrifice of my virginity is nothing and most definitely was not worth it in the end of my life. So I say FUCK YOU MOTAU. Whom still because of his poorly responsible life refuses to pay child support even though he knows that his daughter could use the help because he is a selfish son of a bitch. How many people do you know answer me this wouldn't help the mother of your child who is struggling to go to work on a fucking bicycle everyday which is a (14 mile one way ride) who recently due to no fault of her own got hit by a truck. Luckily the injuries I suffered where minor but they wouldn't let me go back to work until I got released from my doctor which states that I can lift full weight. Hell that's two weeks of non working with no money coming in what so ever because suing someone takes awhile. Do you think he sent me any money to get by? Hell no he is supposedly recovering from a broken heart and which entitles him to ignore his responsibility and let his daughter suffer through lack of funds which I couldn't normally provide on my own. (ANGRY) I am seriously pissed because he keeps telling my daughter that someone is stealing the money he sends me here from the letters he sends. YOU HAVE NOT SENT ONE DAMM LETTER YOU LOSER.
Even before that I was in love with my best friend who I thought hated my guts because he always seemed to be making me miserable in the most hurtful ways. Come to find out years later that he actually loved me but didn't know how to evoke any other reaction out of me then arguing with him. Whom there was always a attraction to because he is positively the most brilliant person on the planet and the dumbest person I know in all the same sentence. But alas maybe under different circumstances things could have turned out differently if he actually told the person he loved before smashing her little dreams with a mean and harsh rejection when he was drunk. Yeah Cassandra has her pride too even though she might wear a mask on her face to hide the hurt, pain, and anger.
I can go through many dating disasters which I have been a victim of serious lying to to get down my pants in one way or another. Which in the first words out of my mouth is that I detest lying in any sorts. Being honest with me no matter how much it would hurt makes me respect you more than finding out later that everything you possibly said was a lie.
::::MY THEORIES::::
I would like to think that whatever feelings you have suffered the longing, the love, etc etc is mirrored in the person for whom if you are lucky will meet. I know there is a such thing as a soul mate out in this world I have them as my friends. Who I love without knowing I loved them because I was irresistibly drawn to them.
Hell I am in love with a girl named Carla whom I have never been any more intimate with other than some hugs and a kiss but that's another story. No not lesbian love :::yo::: because I could never want her in that way. Just a deep and lasting friendship that replaces all that you could ever want or hope for in a person.
My friends whom shall remain nameless because they are too damm many males in my entourage are the loves of my life. For in there lives I find it possible to experience the many wonders of there talents. They are more brilliant then me by far because they on more than one occasion have impressed me with there sincerity and thoughtlessness for themselves. There are tragic ones who do not see the possibility of love in there lives because they are too busy chasing the neon rainbow of whatever addiction has trapped in there bodies. I love them because whatever weakness that has trapped them somehow they are still beautiful to me and I can see the potential of there lives if they for once took off there blinders.
So alas I believe in love but don't necessarily believe that any one out there can fall in love with a person who is often cynical, depressed, angry, bitchy, horny, thoughtless, thoughtful, weird, strange, neurotic, bouncy, pensive, crazed, huggy, kissable, mean at times, blunt, ruthless, determined, independent, strong, vibrant, trust worthy, loyal, dependable, honorable, serious, believes in love, loves classical music, music in general, believes there is life after death, longs for some sort of peace in the chaos of her life, has two kids, book worm, poet, writer in training, shopaholic only in video games, likes to dress up in sexy dresses mostly medieval garb, loves leather, adores prints, camping, hiking, outdoors, hunting, roleplaying games, intelligent, sincere, hopeless, tragic, needs hugs, needs kisses, NEEDS SEX cause she is addicted, needs love for without it I will wither in die, wants marriage, has religion, has a value system, morals kepted on a shelf, timid, shy, brave, simple, nice, mean, and wishy-washy in all the same sentence.
For when I say that I am a pervert doesn't necessarily want to have a conversation about sex because there are other topics that float around this jumbled mass of brain here. Sex talk will eventually bore me because I would rather talk about something else or just plain do it. But my feelings on sex is this that you need to have an emotional attachment of some kind because casual sex is just that casual sex.
I think I am in love with the idea of being in love without ever fully getting that in return from any male person on the planet who can lie, cheat, and steal your heart with a flick of those beautiful lips and entrap your heart with there smile.
I do not like to give up on anything no matter how much I suffer in life it will make me want to try harder and do better because I am a perfectionist of sorts. I want to do something right the first time instead of regretting that I didn't give one hundred percent of myself later.
I can easily walk away from love without glancing back because I would rather have them loving me then end up hating me in the end because hate can tear you up when love is just a fine line. I do not believe men have good intentions in there hearts because they have a motive behind there actions same goes for females who usually I detest in general. I do not like games at all and usually gravitate to females who are like minded to me and whom doesn't want to sleep with guys I find interest in. (Happens to me and its a huge turn off when the guys expect you to be the same as the people you hang around with) Hell no one wants to stay home at all and I for one would rather hang around with nymphos then stay home watching TV. Sometimes you need the hum drum of strangers to enlighten you on how lucky you are in your life because things could be worse much worse.
Well that's enough of my ranting about failed love because I for one do not think it will ever happen to me. But for all those at the end of the story think I am a male hater I am not. I love my friends who are more than worthy of my affection and justify the reason why you shitty ass males need to exist. But in no part do I think or want love in my life so that he can either brake me down further or lift me up. Because he would have to love my kids first and no one is going to love someone else's kids because they are too stupid or too selfish to look beyond that to even consider the possibility that somethings don't really matter.
Well I am out of here.
Muah Cassandra
Since I always right about something either sexual or perverted in nature I thought I would go back to the basics and write about love.
I keep getting asked have you ever been in love?
:::ANSWER:::
My immediate reaction is yes but do I mention that it took me awhile to recover my self esteem to actually look at men or boys in general without feeling a deep rooted hatred for them. That the mere act of a man flirting with me made me want to do bodily harm to them? I hit a depression in my life that took no less than 4 years to rediscover myself that I am strong enough to not cry myself to sleep at night. I realize to you that this may seem either pathetic or seriously emotionally distraught. But combine being a pregnant girl who's financial position in the world is void because she has her pregnancy makes her less desirable to hire her. Then having to go to church everyday where they wrote sermons around you like what happens if you follow the ways of sin and have sex before marriage. (Do you not see how miserable I am just go ahead and rub it deeper that I wasn't nothing more than a used piece of garbage who ultimately got knocked up for all the wrong reasons because he wanted to kill himself. That everything in his that came out of his mouth was a lie that he never loved you at all.) Knowing that I had to grow up immediately from this wild carefree girl to this mother of a child whom I know little or nothing of raising. But my love which I felt was a deep emotional void in my life that somehow the act of physically breathing hurt like hell. Have you ever missed someone on such an intense level that you physically hurt from not being with them that somewhere in your brain it misfires and sends painful electrical currents to remind you. Hey there loser you been dumped, knock up, and left to fend for yourself and your child. I can tell you honestly that I was bitter, hurt, angry, and in such a rage for the opposite sex that the mere whistling at me made me want to hit you. I would yell. " Can't you see jackass that I am about 3 months pregnant and not interested in you ruining my life further by your irresponsible behavior". ::::GRINS::::: He probally thought I was an insane women escaped from the hospital to whom got knocked up along the way?!!! Mostly my problem with being dumped at the time is not having the answers to my questions that usual break-up give you whatever answers to you so that you go away. I know now that he never loved me in the way that I loved him. That my sacrifice of my virginity is nothing and most definitely was not worth it in the end of my life. So I say FUCK YOU MOTAU. Whom still because of his poorly responsible life refuses to pay child support even though he knows that his daughter could use the help because he is a selfish son of a bitch. How many people do you know answer me this wouldn't help the mother of your child who is struggling to go to work on a fucking bicycle everyday which is a (14 mile one way ride) who recently due to no fault of her own got hit by a truck. Luckily the injuries I suffered where minor but they wouldn't let me go back to work until I got released from my doctor which states that I can lift full weight. Hell that's two weeks of non working with no money coming in what so ever because suing someone takes awhile. Do you think he sent me any money to get by? Hell no he is supposedly recovering from a broken heart and which entitles him to ignore his responsibility and let his daughter suffer through lack of funds which I couldn't normally provide on my own. (ANGRY) I am seriously pissed because he keeps telling my daughter that someone is stealing the money he sends me here from the letters he sends. YOU HAVE NOT SENT ONE DAMM LETTER YOU LOSER.
Even before that I was in love with my best friend who I thought hated my guts because he always seemed to be making me miserable in the most hurtful ways. Come to find out years later that he actually loved me but didn't know how to evoke any other reaction out of me then arguing with him. Whom there was always a attraction to because he is positively the most brilliant person on the planet and the dumbest person I know in all the same sentence. But alas maybe under different circumstances things could have turned out differently if he actually told the person he loved before smashing her little dreams with a mean and harsh rejection when he was drunk. Yeah Cassandra has her pride too even though she might wear a mask on her face to hide the hurt, pain, and anger.
I can go through many dating disasters which I have been a victim of serious lying to to get down my pants in one way or another. Which in the first words out of my mouth is that I detest lying in any sorts. Being honest with me no matter how much it would hurt makes me respect you more than finding out later that everything you possibly said was a lie.
::::MY THEORIES::::
I would like to think that whatever feelings you have suffered the longing, the love, etc etc is mirrored in the person for whom if you are lucky will meet. I know there is a such thing as a soul mate out in this world I have them as my friends. Who I love without knowing I loved them because I was irresistibly drawn to them.
Hell I am in love with a girl named Carla whom I have never been any more intimate with other than some hugs and a kiss but that's another story. No not lesbian love :::yo::: because I could never want her in that way. Just a deep and lasting friendship that replaces all that you could ever want or hope for in a person.
My friends whom shall remain nameless because they are too damm many males in my entourage are the loves of my life. For in there lives I find it possible to experience the many wonders of there talents. They are more brilliant then me by far because they on more than one occasion have impressed me with there sincerity and thoughtlessness for themselves. There are tragic ones who do not see the possibility of love in there lives because they are too busy chasing the neon rainbow of whatever addiction has trapped in there bodies. I love them because whatever weakness that has trapped them somehow they are still beautiful to me and I can see the potential of there lives if they for once took off there blinders.
So alas I believe in love but don't necessarily believe that any one out there can fall in love with a person who is often cynical, depressed, angry, bitchy, horny, thoughtless, thoughtful, weird, strange, neurotic, bouncy, pensive, crazed, huggy, kissable, mean at times, blunt, ruthless, determined, independent, strong, vibrant, trust worthy, loyal, dependable, honorable, serious, believes in love, loves classical music, music in general, believes there is life after death, longs for some sort of peace in the chaos of her life, has two kids, book worm, poet, writer in training, shopaholic only in video games, likes to dress up in sexy dresses mostly medieval garb, loves leather, adores prints, camping, hiking, outdoors, hunting, roleplaying games, intelligent, sincere, hopeless, tragic, needs hugs, needs kisses, NEEDS SEX cause she is addicted, needs love for without it I will wither in die, wants marriage, has religion, has a value system, morals kepted on a shelf, timid, shy, brave, simple, nice, mean, and wishy-washy in all the same sentence.
For when I say that I am a pervert doesn't necessarily want to have a conversation about sex because there are other topics that float around this jumbled mass of brain here. Sex talk will eventually bore me because I would rather talk about something else or just plain do it. But my feelings on sex is this that you need to have an emotional attachment of some kind because casual sex is just that casual sex.
I think I am in love with the idea of being in love without ever fully getting that in return from any male person on the planet who can lie, cheat, and steal your heart with a flick of those beautiful lips and entrap your heart with there smile.
I do not like to give up on anything no matter how much I suffer in life it will make me want to try harder and do better because I am a perfectionist of sorts. I want to do something right the first time instead of regretting that I didn't give one hundred percent of myself later.
I can easily walk away from love without glancing back because I would rather have them loving me then end up hating me in the end because hate can tear you up when love is just a fine line. I do not believe men have good intentions in there hearts because they have a motive behind there actions same goes for females who usually I detest in general. I do not like games at all and usually gravitate to females who are like minded to me and whom doesn't want to sleep with guys I find interest in. (Happens to me and its a huge turn off when the guys expect you to be the same as the people you hang around with) Hell no one wants to stay home at all and I for one would rather hang around with nymphos then stay home watching TV. Sometimes you need the hum drum of strangers to enlighten you on how lucky you are in your life because things could be worse much worse.
Well that's enough of my ranting about failed love because I for one do not think it will ever happen to me. But for all those at the end of the story think I am a male hater I am not. I love my friends who are more than worthy of my affection and justify the reason why you shitty ass males need to exist. But in no part do I think or want love in my life so that he can either brake me down further or lift me up. Because he would have to love my kids first and no one is going to love someone else's kids because they are too stupid or too selfish to look beyond that to even consider the possibility that somethings don't really matter.
Well I am out of here.
Muah Cassandra
Thursday, October 09, 2003
Dictionary of Obscure Sexual Terms
::::Dictionary of Obscure Sexual Terms::::
:::plus some much needed commentary from you know who the lovely Miss Alloira Skye!:::
Angry Dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
(Laughs I like to see the man brave enough to try to pull that stunt on me)
Arabian Goggles
A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new.
Ballsacking
Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.
(I might die of laughing if the stupid sucker actually tried doing this?!!!)
Beef Curtain
The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.
(Come on already this shit is too pathetic why add this one?)
Blumpy
You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.
(Now this is seriously nasty and the dumb female who actually does this deserves all the smells she gets from the nasty male.)
The Bronco
You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.
(Okay if you have to invent some stupid girls name to get her really into having sex with you by being so pissed off she wants to throw you off then dude you must suck in bed. And she is only giving you a pity fuck to earn herself brownie points in heaven.)
Brown Bagging It
Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.
Brown Necktie
You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the funbags.
Brunski
When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)
The Bullwinkle
The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie styling' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)
The Canine Special
Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!
(Laughs man's best friend)
The Carpet Cleaner
While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.
(Like women on this planet are stupid enough to do this and if they are I am not claiming the dumb broads at all as females>)
The Chili Dog
When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.
(Why must some sick prick out there ruin a perfectly good titty fuck while defecating on someone's chest aren't those brain cells working it that brain of yours?)
Chocolate Pizza
Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.
(ewwwww! Need I say more?)
Cleveland Steamer
The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.
(Why in the hell are some sick males doing this kind of disgusting behavior I will never know?!!!)
Cold Lunch
The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's performing fellatio.
(Mother fucker ever did this to me I think I would chomp down with my teeth so damm hard that he will be a couple of inches shorter because the fucker didn't deserve oral in the first place.)
The Concoction
First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho bitch girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarten again.
(Now if this is just plain disgusting mixing body fluids and painting yourself. Get your cheap asses out to the store and buy yourself some real edible body paints and lick yourself crazy!)
The Compton Gangbang
You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help you out.)
(Pretty fucking funny because that's just plain rude to cheat but damm get your ass beat up for a simple little one night stand damm.)
Cop's Delight
The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an over sized, quivering glazed donut.
Corn
Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit. Can be used as a great pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance; "Baby, you're more> Corn than Green Giant", or "Damn bitch, you are Corn!"
(In a off beat manor you are supposed to actually say this to a girl? Well that wouldn't go well with me I might want to beat your ass to a pulp.)
Cum Dumpster
A quadriplegic whore.
(Now this is just plain mean)
Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch
The once in a lifetime act when blowing a hot steamy load down the back of the girl's throat, proceed to give her a large cold bottle of your most favorite carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.
em>(Okay who the hell would belittle herself enough to let some joker do this to her)
Daisy Chain
Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out partner (B) who is sucking off or eating out partner (C) and so on until the final person is sucking off or eating out partner (A). Partners can be gay, lesbian or straight.
Davey Crockett
A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those cold winter nights.
(If she is as loose to wear her as a coonskin cap who the hell wants to throw a hot dog down a hallway? Come on now really what's the point?)
Dirty Sanchez
A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
(I know of this because Blaine told me about what he use to do to his brother?!!! But never heard this phrasing before but that is one sick puppy who does this crap. Smelly too!)
Dirty Swirly
While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one filled with a healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both), stick her head in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it.
(Okay who is the bright stupid mother fucker who actually thinks some female would actually like to have this done to her??? hmmmm not......)
Dog In A Bathtub
This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
Donkey Punch
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.
(Since I am not a fan or haven't ever experienced this done to me personally I would totally knock out the fucker who even dared throttle me during sexual play)
Duct Tape Trick
Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely fuck it without the danger of a messy split.
(okay who is desperate enough to actually thought of this manuever when there are plenty of females out there who want sex?)
Dutch Oven
Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).
(Good God give me a gas mask if some stupid son of a bitch ever does this to me I am going to guarantee the bastard would be knee deep in shit or wallowing in piss before the light of another day.)
Dutch Treat
The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very messy.
DVDA
The abbreviation for "double-anal, double-vaginal". This is the term used when a girl takes four cocks in two holes. A hard core porn industry norm.
The Electric Chair
Your psychobitch girlfriend decides she wants to try something kinky, so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair, strips you down, and ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This causes you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electrofucked. Warning! May cause erectile dysfunction after performed.
(This one caused me serious laughter because who in there right mind would want to get electrocuted during sex???)
Felching
A gay activity which I do not condone at all. It happens when one fag fucks another fag in the ass and then sucks the jizz out with a straw. Only included for those of you who are considering going to jail. *note: never seen it done with a straw... The Fish Eye From behind, you shove both fists in her ass (or his if in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motionsignaling that she has been there and done that.
Fish-Hook
When you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.
The Fire Island
This consists of telling someone you're going to spunk on their face while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they don't believe you, doing it just to prove that you're that demented.
Flaming Amazon
This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...Extinguish the flames with your jizz!
Flooding The Cave
Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.
The Flying Camel
A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move.
The Flying Dutchman
This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual act, it was just a phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out during intercourse on occasion simply for the novelty factor. However, its popularity increased and it has now developed into a specific act, namely that of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort of sexual situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are constantly on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to shout, "Here comes the Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse your sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely, sometimes causing interesting side effects.
The Fountain Of You
While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before you release and spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)
Fur Ball
You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, a mammoth hair ball gets lodged into your throat.
Gobstopper
With two hands, spread your tramps anus open, then spit a big-ass loogie down the asshole then close it back up. You can give her a smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.
Golden Shower
Any form of dropping piss all over your partner. Great for those who like watersports.
Greek
The act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I'm saying) and gluing your gal's eyes closed with your man seed. E.g. "Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked her!" or "Sorry honey, but you asked for the Greek salad
Ham And Cheese Sandwich
Eating a woman's box after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone's appetite.
Hershey Highway
When plugging your girl in the ass, you run into some hot diarrhea. Don't hurt her feelings by getting grossed out though, just pretend it's extra lube.
High Dive
The skill of pulling your Johnson all the way out of your partner's hole and in one motion jamming it home again. Best suited for use in the corn hole, but can be very dangerous.
The Hindenburg
When some slut who is so bad at oral sex, you're forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man tool.
Hogging
While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go searching for the fattest bitch you can find and proceed to ride her like a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.
Hole In One
The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try not to get a huge boner once it's in, or you'll get a nice snapparoo.
Hotdog In A Hallway
When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't even touching the walls of her vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood trick or if you're slinging a small dick.
Hot Karl
The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier was balls deep in her can.
Hot Karl Candy Cane
A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.
Hot Lunch
The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a girl's mouth.
Hummer
The well known added variation to a blowjob in which a broad hums her favorite tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against your dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.
The Hunter Gatherer
You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty much self-explanatory.
The Indian Cock Burn
While a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft as if she was trying to give you an Indian burn.
The Jedi Mind Trick
When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT fucking you".
The Jelly Donut
Give some skank a facial and follow it up with a swift pimp crack in the nose. The resulting blood and jizz that covers her face bears a resemblance to a jelly donut.
The Juanita Special Bean Dip
While your tramp rides you like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb into her poop chute (be sure to get your thumb nice and gooey), then stick your brown thumb into her mouth, and slip it under her tongue so she can get the full robust taste of the Juanita "special" bean dip.
Kennebunkport Surprise
The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs while eating her out.
Kick-Fucking
The act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly getting kicked in the ass.
The Landshark
The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.
The Lorena Bobbit
Obviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard core booty sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach true Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then toss it out the window.)
The Menthol
The act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly feeling on your cock.
The Mellon Dive
Headbutting a woman's big fat titties. Always lots of fun.
Monkey Wrench
When some sadistic bitch takes your dick back between your legs and sucks you off.
Monroe Transfer
When you and your partner connect each other's assholes with a tube. One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the turds to the rectum of the other.
The Moped
A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.
The Mork
Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index fingers up her cunt. (Please note: Not complete until you finish it off with a Nanoo-Nanoo!)
Moses
A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period. Derived from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.
The Motorboat
While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips together on her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you forever.
Muff Teaser
Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you to give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest level, stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to shack up with the selfish bitch again.
The Mung
Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.
Mushy Biscuit
This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.
New Jersey Meat-Hook
The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure is most effective from behind.
New York Style Taco
Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you barf on her box. Happy trails.
The Nixon
A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling, "I'm not a crook". This is considered very bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum.
Oyster
A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and letting the tramp munch on them.
Pasadena Mudslide
This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close cousin to the Cleveland Steamer.)
Pattycake
While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load.
Paying The Rent
A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the back of her calves and bangs ferociously.
Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich
Shit on a woman's snatch during menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or smooth...depending on what you've been eating.)
Pearl Necklace
Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry. Fuck that diamonds are forever shit.
The Pig Roast
While you're plugging some girl's hole doggie style, (up the dirt road or the funhole, pick your poison) she's blowing your best friend's cock at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit. Very Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs.
Pink Glove
Hate when this happens. Every so often a girl is not wet enough during sex. When you finally pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
The Pirate's Treasure
While fucking your girl in the ass, you strike a hefty load of shit. After you've found this buried treasure deep in her booty, you scream, "Argh!", like a pirate.
Plating
Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face, then shit on it. It gives them a nice view without all the messy cleanup. How come you don't see that on any Dawn commercials.
The Popcorn Trick
First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a nice romantic date. Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and carefully make a hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, inconspicuously insert your penis through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually offer some to your bitch. When she digs in, she will find nice surprise. Who doesn't love buttered popcorn?
Puerto Rican Fog Bank
While 69ing with your partner, release a cloud of sphincter fog directly into her nostrils.
Purple Mushroom
This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.
Queef
A well known, but sometimes embarrassing occurrence. Queefing happens when air gets trapped in a girls vagina, and makes a soft hissing, or farting kind of a sound while that air is released.
The Ram
When attacking from behind, you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy in those lulls in penile sensitivity.
Rear Admiral
An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun watch her face hit the floor. You rise to Admiral status when you can bang her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips
Red Wings
Another name for navigating the moose knuckle with your tongue while discovering the girl is on her rag. Be a real man and earn your red wings soldier!
Resuscitation
When a girl is asleep, carefully open her mouth so that she doesn't awake. Then, squat over her face and carefully place your shit hole on her lips. When the time is right, you let rip the biggest baddest fart ever known to man and see if it wakes her up. Great fun during those long sleepless nights.
The Roddy Piper
When getting your girl from behind, you toss the sleeper hold on her and knock her out ala Rowdy Roddy Piper. While nailing your unconscious victim, you get to simulate your life long dream of necrophilia. Now you never have to break into the morgue again.
The Rodeo
Similar to the Bronco. You start once again, banging a chick from behind. At a pre-arranged time you grab her hair with one hand just as several buddies bust into the room. See if you can hang on for 8 seconds cowboy. Yee Haw!
The Rose Creeper
Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweetheart's neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her dumper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming.
The Rusty Trombone
This is what happens when you've got a less then respectable female (AKA be-yatch) tongue deep in your chute. She wiggles her tongue as she does the reach around to pump you like a Catholic priest doing an Alter Boy, thus mimicking a trombone player.
Sandbag
Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie and engage in the well known cliche of sex on the beach. Just before insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt-necked, and knocked up. Especially lots of fun when accomplished during the spring break season.
The Screwnicorn
When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.
The Seatbelt
While one fag straddles his partners cock, he receives a blowjob from the fruitcake on the bottom.
Shirley Temple
Pour a can of 7-Up on a girl's menstruating pussy and eat her out.
The Shocker
When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.)
Shop Vac
When a dirty, talented tramp stuffs you're entire package (balls and all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.
Shrimping
The term for licking or sucking your partner's toes.
Skiing
While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two guys and jerks them both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross-country action.
Slumpbuster
When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest, nastiest, fattest, most disease-ridden skank and puts the wood to her with the intent that it will break up a slump.
Snerd Nurgling
The act of moving your anal lovers turds about within his/her lower intestine with your dick. Really popular with the lavender boys, hence the expression, "Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd"...
Snoodling
When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra foreskin over the cock of another homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too much free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You Snoodler!"
Snowball
Ah yes, every man's worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball. This happens when a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth. Another definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still in her mouth. With all those dirty broads out there, odds are it has happened to you. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have been laughing their asses off at you.
The Snuff
Lovingly fuck the shit out of your virgin or ragging girlfriend and wipe your bloody member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids, show them to your friends, and brag that you're a snuff film superstar.
Stranger
Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, giving you the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
Stranger On The Rocks
Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of ice and then jerking off. Spanken not stirred.
Strangers In The Night
When you and your gay buddy each numb your hand (you should know how by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else, from someone else.
Stingy Nut
When a chick isn't worth fucking; pull down her pants, bend her over, and jerk off all over her ass.
Sud N' Fud
When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead.
Surfing
This happens when you nail a fat woman. As you watch the rippling effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of being drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you are given the sense of riding the ultimate wave.
Swimmer's Ear
When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right before you erupt, you remove yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in her ear, and fill her ear with some sweet love seed. Hopefully, you will give her an infection.
Tea Bag
To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back. Then you squat over her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip your nut sac in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing some kind of fucked up yoga exercise.
3-Eyed Turtle
Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following manner: thumb in ass, fingers in pussy, and dick in mouth.
The Tortoise
When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair yet - i.e. you got there before the hair (hare) did.
Tossing Salad
A common prison act where one person basically chows asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available. (I.e. jelly, syrup, olive oil, etc.)
Tropical Wind
When getting your asshole eaten out by a worthless tramp, you break wind.
Tuna Melt
You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just happens to be that time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.
Twisted Sister
Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress up in some hot black leather gimp wear and proceed to handcuff your hands behind your back and then force you to your knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled over with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic enema of your life. Now that's some great S&M fun.
Vegetarian Hot Lunch
A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner stretches a piece of saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible, but no actual contact with waste product occurs.
Wake Up Call
Waking up in the middle of the night with the hard on of your life. You then turn to your fast asleep partner and dry fuck her ass into oblivion. The clincher to performing a wake up call is to act like nothing of the sort happened in the morning. E.g. "Sweetheart, what's that on your back?"
The Walrus
After spunking in a girl's mouth, you pinch the center of her two lips together and hold her nose. This will force the cum to dribble out of the sides of her mouth, thus the teeth of the walrus.
Western Grip
When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use, hence, western.
Westside Glaze
Same as the eastside glaze, but the majority of your jizz lands on the left side of her face.
The Woody Woodpecker
When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap your cock on her forehead.
The Zombie Mask
While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good week's worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.
:::plus some much needed commentary from you know who the lovely Miss Alloira Skye!:::
Angry Dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.
(Laughs I like to see the man brave enough to try to pull that stunt on me)
Arabian Goggles
A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new.
Ballsacking
Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.
(I might die of laughing if the stupid sucker actually tried doing this?!!!)
Beef Curtain
The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.
(Come on already this shit is too pathetic why add this one?)
Blumpy
You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.
(Now this is seriously nasty and the dumb female who actually does this deserves all the smells she gets from the nasty male.)
The Bronco
You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.
(Okay if you have to invent some stupid girls name to get her really into having sex with you by being so pissed off she wants to throw you off then dude you must suck in bed. And she is only giving you a pity fuck to earn herself brownie points in heaven.)
Brown Bagging It
Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.
Brown Necktie
You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the funbags.
Brunski
When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)
The Bullwinkle
The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie styling' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)
The Canine Special
Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!
(Laughs man's best friend)
The Carpet Cleaner
While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.
(Like women on this planet are stupid enough to do this and if they are I am not claiming the dumb broads at all as females>)
The Chili Dog
When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.
(Why must some sick prick out there ruin a perfectly good titty fuck while defecating on someone's chest aren't those brain cells working it that brain of yours?)
Chocolate Pizza
Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.
(ewwwww! Need I say more?)
Cleveland Steamer
The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.
(Why in the hell are some sick males doing this kind of disgusting behavior I will never know?!!!)
Cold Lunch
The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's performing fellatio.
(Mother fucker ever did this to me I think I would chomp down with my teeth so damm hard that he will be a couple of inches shorter because the fucker didn't deserve oral in the first place.)
The Concoction
First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho bitch girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarten again.
(Now if this is just plain disgusting mixing body fluids and painting yourself. Get your cheap asses out to the store and buy yourself some real edible body paints and lick yourself crazy!)
The Compton Gangbang
You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help you out.)
(Pretty fucking funny because that's just plain rude to cheat but damm get your ass beat up for a simple little one night stand damm.)
Cop's Delight
The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an over sized, quivering glazed donut.
Corn
Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit. Can be used as a great pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance; "Baby, you're more> Corn than Green Giant", or "Damn bitch, you are Corn!"
(In a off beat manor you are supposed to actually say this to a girl? Well that wouldn't go well with me I might want to beat your ass to a pulp.)
Cum Dumpster
A quadriplegic whore.
(Now this is just plain mean)
Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch
The once in a lifetime act when blowing a hot steamy load down the back of the girl's throat, proceed to give her a large cold bottle of your most favorite carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.
em>(Okay who the hell would belittle herself enough to let some joker do this to her)
Daisy Chain
Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out partner (B) who is sucking off or eating out partner (C) and so on until the final person is sucking off or eating out partner (A). Partners can be gay, lesbian or straight.
Davey Crockett
A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those cold winter nights.
(If she is as loose to wear her as a coonskin cap who the hell wants to throw a hot dog down a hallway? Come on now really what's the point?)
Dirty Sanchez
A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
(I know of this because Blaine told me about what he use to do to his brother?!!! But never heard this phrasing before but that is one sick puppy who does this crap. Smelly too!)
Dirty Swirly
While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one filled with a healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both), stick her head in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it.
(Okay who is the bright stupid mother fucker who actually thinks some female would actually like to have this done to her??? hmmmm not......)
Dog In A Bathtub
This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
Donkey Punch
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.
(Since I am not a fan or haven't ever experienced this done to me personally I would totally knock out the fucker who even dared throttle me during sexual play)
Duct Tape Trick
Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely fuck it without the danger of a messy split.
(okay who is desperate enough to actually thought of this manuever when there are plenty of females out there who want sex?)
Dutch Oven
Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).
(Good God give me a gas mask if some stupid son of a bitch ever does this to me I am going to guarantee the bastard would be knee deep in shit or wallowing in piss before the light of another day.)
Dutch Treat
The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very messy.
DVDA
The abbreviation for "double-anal, double-vaginal". This is the term used when a girl takes four cocks in two holes. A hard core porn industry norm.
The Electric Chair
Your psychobitch girlfriend decides she wants to try something kinky, so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair, strips you down, and ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This causes you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electrofucked. Warning! May cause erectile dysfunction after performed.
(This one caused me serious laughter because who in there right mind would want to get electrocuted during sex???)
Felching
A gay activity which I do not condone at all. It happens when one fag fucks another fag in the ass and then sucks the jizz out with a straw. Only included for those of you who are considering going to jail. *note: never seen it done with a straw... The Fish Eye From behind, you shove both fists in her ass (or his if in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motionsignaling that she has been there and done that.
Fish-Hook
When you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.
The Fire Island
This consists of telling someone you're going to spunk on their face while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they don't believe you, doing it just to prove that you're that demented.
Flaming Amazon
This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...Extinguish the flames with your jizz!
Flooding The Cave
Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.
The Flying Camel
A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move.
The Flying Dutchman
This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual act, it was just a phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out during intercourse on occasion simply for the novelty factor. However, its popularity increased and it has now developed into a specific act, namely that of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort of sexual situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are constantly on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to shout, "Here comes the Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse your sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely, sometimes causing interesting side effects.
The Fountain Of You
While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before you release and spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)
Fur Ball
You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, a mammoth hair ball gets lodged into your throat.
Gobstopper
With two hands, spread your tramps anus open, then spit a big-ass loogie down the asshole then close it back up. You can give her a smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.
Golden Shower
Any form of dropping piss all over your partner. Great for those who like watersports.
Greek
The act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I'm saying) and gluing your gal's eyes closed with your man seed. E.g. "Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked her!" or "Sorry honey, but you asked for the Greek salad
Ham And Cheese Sandwich
Eating a woman's box after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone's appetite.
Hershey Highway
When plugging your girl in the ass, you run into some hot diarrhea. Don't hurt her feelings by getting grossed out though, just pretend it's extra lube.
High Dive
The skill of pulling your Johnson all the way out of your partner's hole and in one motion jamming it home again. Best suited for use in the corn hole, but can be very dangerous.
The Hindenburg
When some slut who is so bad at oral sex, you're forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man tool.
Hogging
While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go searching for the fattest bitch you can find and proceed to ride her like a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.
Hole In One
The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try not to get a huge boner once it's in, or you'll get a nice snapparoo.
Hotdog In A Hallway
When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't even touching the walls of her vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood trick or if you're slinging a small dick.
Hot Karl
The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier was balls deep in her can.
Hot Karl Candy Cane
A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.
Hot Lunch
The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a girl's mouth.
Hummer
The well known added variation to a blowjob in which a broad hums her favorite tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against your dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.
The Hunter Gatherer
You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty much self-explanatory.
The Indian Cock Burn
While a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft as if she was trying to give you an Indian burn.
The Jedi Mind Trick
When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT fucking you".
The Jelly Donut
Give some skank a facial and follow it up with a swift pimp crack in the nose. The resulting blood and jizz that covers her face bears a resemblance to a jelly donut.
The Juanita Special Bean Dip
While your tramp rides you like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb into her poop chute (be sure to get your thumb nice and gooey), then stick your brown thumb into her mouth, and slip it under her tongue so she can get the full robust taste of the Juanita "special" bean dip.
Kennebunkport Surprise
The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs while eating her out.
Kick-Fucking
The act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly getting kicked in the ass.
The Landshark
The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.
The Lorena Bobbit
Obviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard core booty sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach true Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then toss it out the window.)
The Menthol
The act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly feeling on your cock.
The Mellon Dive
Headbutting a woman's big fat titties. Always lots of fun.
Monkey Wrench
When some sadistic bitch takes your dick back between your legs and sucks you off.
Monroe Transfer
When you and your partner connect each other's assholes with a tube. One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the turds to the rectum of the other.
The Moped
A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.
The Mork
Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index fingers up her cunt. (Please note: Not complete until you finish it off with a Nanoo-Nanoo!)
Moses
A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period. Derived from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.
The Motorboat
While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips together on her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you forever.
Muff Teaser
Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you to give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest level, stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to shack up with the selfish bitch again.
The Mung
Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.
Mushy Biscuit
This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.
New Jersey Meat-Hook
The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure is most effective from behind.
New York Style Taco
Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you barf on her box. Happy trails.
The Nixon
A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling, "I'm not a crook". This is considered very bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum.
Oyster
A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and letting the tramp munch on them.
Pasadena Mudslide
This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close cousin to the Cleveland Steamer.)
Pattycake
While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load.
Paying The Rent
A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the back of her calves and bangs ferociously.
Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich
Shit on a woman's snatch during menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or smooth...depending on what you've been eating.)
Pearl Necklace
Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry. Fuck that diamonds are forever shit.
The Pig Roast
While you're plugging some girl's hole doggie style, (up the dirt road or the funhole, pick your poison) she's blowing your best friend's cock at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit. Very Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs.
Pink Glove
Hate when this happens. Every so often a girl is not wet enough during sex. When you finally pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
The Pirate's Treasure
While fucking your girl in the ass, you strike a hefty load of shit. After you've found this buried treasure deep in her booty, you scream, "Argh!", like a pirate.
Plating
Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face, then shit on it. It gives them a nice view without all the messy cleanup. How come you don't see that on any Dawn commercials.
The Popcorn Trick
First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a nice romantic date. Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and carefully make a hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, inconspicuously insert your penis through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually offer some to your bitch. When she digs in, she will find nice surprise. Who doesn't love buttered popcorn?
Puerto Rican Fog Bank
While 69ing with your partner, release a cloud of sphincter fog directly into her nostrils.
Purple Mushroom
This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.
Queef
A well known, but sometimes embarrassing occurrence. Queefing happens when air gets trapped in a girls vagina, and makes a soft hissing, or farting kind of a sound while that air is released.
The Ram
When attacking from behind, you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy in those lulls in penile sensitivity.
Rear Admiral
An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun watch her face hit the floor. You rise to Admiral status when you can bang her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips
Red Wings
Another name for navigating the moose knuckle with your tongue while discovering the girl is on her rag. Be a real man and earn your red wings soldier!
Resuscitation
When a girl is asleep, carefully open her mouth so that she doesn't awake. Then, squat over her face and carefully place your shit hole on her lips. When the time is right, you let rip the biggest baddest fart ever known to man and see if it wakes her up. Great fun during those long sleepless nights.
The Roddy Piper
When getting your girl from behind, you toss the sleeper hold on her and knock her out ala Rowdy Roddy Piper. While nailing your unconscious victim, you get to simulate your life long dream of necrophilia. Now you never have to break into the morgue again.
The Rodeo
Similar to the Bronco. You start once again, banging a chick from behind. At a pre-arranged time you grab her hair with one hand just as several buddies bust into the room. See if you can hang on for 8 seconds cowboy. Yee Haw!
The Rose Creeper
Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweetheart's neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her dumper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming.
The Rusty Trombone
This is what happens when you've got a less then respectable female (AKA be-yatch) tongue deep in your chute. She wiggles her tongue as she does the reach around to pump you like a Catholic priest doing an Alter Boy, thus mimicking a trombone player.
Sandbag
Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie and engage in the well known cliche of sex on the beach. Just before insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt-necked, and knocked up. Especially lots of fun when accomplished during the spring break season.
The Screwnicorn
When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.
The Seatbelt
While one fag straddles his partners cock, he receives a blowjob from the fruitcake on the bottom.
Shirley Temple
Pour a can of 7-Up on a girl's menstruating pussy and eat her out.
The Shocker
When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.)
Shop Vac
When a dirty, talented tramp stuffs you're entire package (balls and all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.
Shrimping
The term for licking or sucking your partner's toes.
Skiing
While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two guys and jerks them both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross-country action.
Slumpbuster
When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest, nastiest, fattest, most disease-ridden skank and puts the wood to her with the intent that it will break up a slump.
Snerd Nurgling
The act of moving your anal lovers turds about within his/her lower intestine with your dick. Really popular with the lavender boys, hence the expression, "Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd"...
Snoodling
When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra foreskin over the cock of another homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too much free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You Snoodler!"
Snowball
Ah yes, every man's worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball. This happens when a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth. Another definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still in her mouth. With all those dirty broads out there, odds are it has happened to you. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have been laughing their asses off at you.
The Snuff
Lovingly fuck the shit out of your virgin or ragging girlfriend and wipe your bloody member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids, show them to your friends, and brag that you're a snuff film superstar.
Stranger
Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, giving you the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
Stranger On The Rocks
Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of ice and then jerking off. Spanken not stirred.
Strangers In The Night
When you and your gay buddy each numb your hand (you should know how by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else, from someone else.
Stingy Nut
When a chick isn't worth fucking; pull down her pants, bend her over, and jerk off all over her ass.
Sud N' Fud
When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead.
Surfing
This happens when you nail a fat woman. As you watch the rippling effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of being drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you are given the sense of riding the ultimate wave.
Swimmer's Ear
When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right before you erupt, you remove yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in her ear, and fill her ear with some sweet love seed. Hopefully, you will give her an infection.
Tea Bag
To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back. Then you squat over her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip your nut sac in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing some kind of fucked up yoga exercise.
3-Eyed Turtle
Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following manner: thumb in ass, fingers in pussy, and dick in mouth.
The Tortoise
When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair yet - i.e. you got there before the hair (hare) did.
Tossing Salad
A common prison act where one person basically chows asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available. (I.e. jelly, syrup, olive oil, etc.)
Tropical Wind
When getting your asshole eaten out by a worthless tramp, you break wind.
Tuna Melt
You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just happens to be that time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.
Twisted Sister
Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress up in some hot black leather gimp wear and proceed to handcuff your hands behind your back and then force you to your knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled over with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic enema of your life. Now that's some great S&M fun.
Vegetarian Hot Lunch
A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner stretches a piece of saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible, but no actual contact with waste product occurs.
Wake Up Call
Waking up in the middle of the night with the hard on of your life. You then turn to your fast asleep partner and dry fuck her ass into oblivion. The clincher to performing a wake up call is to act like nothing of the sort happened in the morning. E.g. "Sweetheart, what's that on your back?"
The Walrus
After spunking in a girl's mouth, you pinch the center of her two lips together and hold her nose. This will force the cum to dribble out of the sides of her mouth, thus the teeth of the walrus.
Western Grip
When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use, hence, western.
Westside Glaze
Same as the eastside glaze, but the majority of your jizz lands on the left side of her face.
The Woody Woodpecker
When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap your cock on her forehead.
The Zombie Mask
While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good week's worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
One of my favorite book of all time are the Gunslinger series by Stephen King
My love for books is the soul reason that keeps me sane in this world because I can get lost within the spines of a million paged book (I WISH) and stay there for awhile. I am always disappointed when I am at the end of the book because then I have to wait for the author to get off his/her butt and write another sequel to the thing I need most in my life besides LOVE.
You know I am a sucker for killer looking guys with a sexy bad side to them the kind that chases danger with razors in his teeth. Who probally won't take no more than 30 showers in there entire life time. I am also a sucker for a blue eyed passionate man whom Roland in the book represents with as much gusto as a western style Billy the Kid. Enough upon my eye fetish for awhile which is probally no big annoucement or national media news top story except that deep blue eyes attract me like no other specially if there is intelligence behind those blue watery orbs of there abyss.
Anyways, I really want a Billy Blumber like in the book which is affectionately called Oy because he likes to say that all the time. Jake whom is a strikingly strong individual with his decision to take his own life because he believed there are more worlds then these out there. How positively true is this I can't say for sure because I am still stuck in this one right now? This is a romantic and adventureous story about a man with a iron willed determination to reach the dark tower. Where he just happened to open a few doors to let a few unsuspecting people into his world by just walking through a door to our world and being trapped within the confines of another's mind.
My point to this whole little tangent is that I wish that we could actually go into others worlds so that we could better appreciate the world we live in here then a world that has been devestated by nuclear holocaust and the after affects are still changing the whole dynamics of the planet. So the affects upon the future generations of our planet depend upon us taking care of our little universe right here and now before the consequences of our actions are unrepairable.
Oh well that is my little blog for the day because I want to get back to my book and see what I can do to improve my blog in the future. If you have any artwork suggestions that would benefit me and I do not have to get a migraine headache to figure out how to plug them in. I would appreciate it greatly. Because I just barely out of a long struggle to figure out how to change my blog color and plug it in at the right places which was more of a hit and miss sort of game. BTW when you actually visit my site fill out my Guest book so that I know you have actually been here instead of ignoring all my hard work of jazzing up this place in my own little internet world. I have big changes planned as soon as I brush up on my HMTL for Dummies book that has given me a few idea's here and there. Which I can actually incorporate a lot of things in here as soon as I have the time and patience to plug them in. Well good night my fellow readers and Muah!
You know I am a sucker for killer looking guys with a sexy bad side to them the kind that chases danger with razors in his teeth. Who probally won't take no more than 30 showers in there entire life time. I am also a sucker for a blue eyed passionate man whom Roland in the book represents with as much gusto as a western style Billy the Kid. Enough upon my eye fetish for awhile which is probally no big annoucement or national media news top story except that deep blue eyes attract me like no other specially if there is intelligence behind those blue watery orbs of there abyss.
Anyways, I really want a Billy Blumber like in the book which is affectionately called Oy because he likes to say that all the time. Jake whom is a strikingly strong individual with his decision to take his own life because he believed there are more worlds then these out there. How positively true is this I can't say for sure because I am still stuck in this one right now? This is a romantic and adventureous story about a man with a iron willed determination to reach the dark tower. Where he just happened to open a few doors to let a few unsuspecting people into his world by just walking through a door to our world and being trapped within the confines of another's mind.
My point to this whole little tangent is that I wish that we could actually go into others worlds so that we could better appreciate the world we live in here then a world that has been devestated by nuclear holocaust and the after affects are still changing the whole dynamics of the planet. So the affects upon the future generations of our planet depend upon us taking care of our little universe right here and now before the consequences of our actions are unrepairable.
Oh well that is my little blog for the day because I want to get back to my book and see what I can do to improve my blog in the future. If you have any artwork suggestions that would benefit me and I do not have to get a migraine headache to figure out how to plug them in. I would appreciate it greatly. Because I just barely out of a long struggle to figure out how to change my blog color and plug it in at the right places which was more of a hit and miss sort of game. BTW when you actually visit my site fill out my Guest book so that I know you have actually been here instead of ignoring all my hard work of jazzing up this place in my own little internet world. I have big changes planned as soon as I brush up on my HMTL for Dummies book that has given me a few idea's here and there. Which I can actually incorporate a lot of things in here as soon as I have the time and patience to plug them in. Well good night my fellow readers and Muah!
::::RUN run run run:::: for your lives a women with a brain might be plotting near you
Alloiratheviking@aol.com Email me if you want to leave comments that are not posted to the public...
My daily horoscope that I always find amusing:
October 08, 2003
To other people, it might seem like you aren't getting much done, but your mind is actually hard at work trying to come up with a viable solution to one of your problems. You aren't obligated to share what you're thinking with anyone else, but it might help if you explain your quiet mood to someone who is close to you. Of course, if your competitors see you being so quiet, they may get nervous, and with good reason -- they can sense you're plotting something big, and knowing what you're capable of, they're smart to be a bit scared.
My daily horoscope that I always find amusing:
October 08, 2003
To other people, it might seem like you aren't getting much done, but your mind is actually hard at work trying to come up with a viable solution to one of your problems. You aren't obligated to share what you're thinking with anyone else, but it might help if you explain your quiet mood to someone who is close to you. Of course, if your competitors see you being so quiet, they may get nervous, and with good reason -- they can sense you're plotting something big, and knowing what you're capable of, they're smart to be a bit scared.
Vaginas that talk what would happen if they started a MONOLOGUE with you
Just in case you do not get it the ::::is Alloira:::: the normal script is the vagina thanks to Sean who gave me the idea to have a Vagina monologue.....
Hello there.
(lips move)
Hello.
(again lips move)
::::looks around::::
down here.
(you get the point)
:::gets a little spooked::::
yeah you
::::okay whose stalking me:::::
no you idiot down here
::::looks down towards oddly moving pelvis area::::
can you kindly unzip your pants so that I can catch my breathe
::::startled look but you jump to obey::::
::::peeling off your pants::::
::::taking off your underwear::::
why thank you.
::::I must be going fucking crazy because my vagina is talking to me:::::
You know I don't usually talk to you but I think I must voice a complaint.
::::::Oh God it's worse then I thought:::::
Your lack of my daily grooming like a freaking hair cut would be a starter.
::::what the fuck?::::
Yeah try giving me a military hair cut once in awhile
People do not enjoy taking a weed whacker to taste a little bush you know!!!!
:::::Okay stay calm::::
::::This is not really happening its all in your head::::
By the way since I am on the lines of this when am I going to see a little peter?
:::ummm I am trying to stay disease free?:::::
Hell it doesn't necessarily need to be a little peter as long as it gets it job done.
Well what I am trying to say is that we hit a drought like the Sahara dessert.
::::This can't be really happening::::
Will you get it through your head that your vagina is talking to you
By the way my name is Penelope.
I want some action I am like a dried up raisin down here.
::::NO fucking way in hell is my vagina talking to me I must be going crazy::::
(starts to walk around the room pacing)
Do you mind stopping that I get a little motion sickness!
(coughs) ahem back to what I was saying
(lips are continuing to move) (wink wink)
What ever happened to that nice Italian number that was tall dark and handsome?
He had a serious Cabasa in his pants that was making me squiver for weeks at a time
::::I decided to break up with him we were moving too fast::::
Well then go out and search the local bars
::::You know there are diseases out there right?::::
That's what condoms are for plus other safety measures. Hello!
:::I just wanted to get back to the basics right now::::
What about masturbation? I need a little stimulation from time to time.
::::I would feel weird in doing that::::
What if I talked you through it?
::::umm still I would feel strange and uncomfortable:::::
Come on for me please!!!!
::::::you know your acting like a spoiled brat::::::
Look if you do this for me I will make it good for you
:::::What's in it for me?::::
An earth shaking Orgasm! Does that tempt you?
::::Closer::::
How about I continue to make your Vagina tighter by doing pelvic exercises that no one will know that I am doing? So you can throw a golf ball about 300 hundred yards?
::::giggles::::That could be interesting at parties::::
And if you really want to pick up dollar bills off of a paying customer you could make some money!
So I am an investment and a retirement fund if you really want to go that route.
:::Wow you really thought this through didn't you?:::::
(lips are moving side to side)
:::So I take that as a yes?::::
So what do you say?
:::::well alright:::(sigh):::if it will get you off my back::::
You know I was thinking of moving there once but opted against it!!!
So I would like a slow tedious massage with a little KY so that you don't chaff me.
(Begins to move towards the bathroom getting the KY from the medicine cabinet and moves into the bedroom)
fade to black
more continued.... Stay tuned for next weeks story.....Same time same vagina channel.....
Hello there.
(lips move)
Hello.
(again lips move)
::::looks around::::
down here.
(you get the point)
:::gets a little spooked::::
yeah you
::::okay whose stalking me:::::
no you idiot down here
::::looks down towards oddly moving pelvis area::::
can you kindly unzip your pants so that I can catch my breathe
::::startled look but you jump to obey::::
::::peeling off your pants::::
::::taking off your underwear::::
why thank you.
::::I must be going fucking crazy because my vagina is talking to me:::::
You know I don't usually talk to you but I think I must voice a complaint.
::::::Oh God it's worse then I thought:::::
Your lack of my daily grooming like a freaking hair cut would be a starter.
::::what the fuck?::::
Yeah try giving me a military hair cut once in awhile
People do not enjoy taking a weed whacker to taste a little bush you know!!!!
:::::Okay stay calm::::
::::This is not really happening its all in your head::::
By the way since I am on the lines of this when am I going to see a little peter?
:::ummm I am trying to stay disease free?:::::
Hell it doesn't necessarily need to be a little peter as long as it gets it job done.
Well what I am trying to say is that we hit a drought like the Sahara dessert.
::::This can't be really happening::::
Will you get it through your head that your vagina is talking to you
By the way my name is Penelope.
I want some action I am like a dried up raisin down here.
::::NO fucking way in hell is my vagina talking to me I must be going crazy::::
(starts to walk around the room pacing)
Do you mind stopping that I get a little motion sickness!
(coughs) ahem back to what I was saying
(lips are continuing to move) (wink wink)
What ever happened to that nice Italian number that was tall dark and handsome?
He had a serious Cabasa in his pants that was making me squiver for weeks at a time
::::I decided to break up with him we were moving too fast::::
Well then go out and search the local bars
::::You know there are diseases out there right?::::
That's what condoms are for plus other safety measures. Hello!
:::I just wanted to get back to the basics right now::::
What about masturbation? I need a little stimulation from time to time.
::::I would feel weird in doing that::::
What if I talked you through it?
::::umm still I would feel strange and uncomfortable:::::
Come on for me please!!!!
::::::you know your acting like a spoiled brat::::::
Look if you do this for me I will make it good for you
:::::What's in it for me?::::
An earth shaking Orgasm! Does that tempt you?
::::Closer::::
How about I continue to make your Vagina tighter by doing pelvic exercises that no one will know that I am doing? So you can throw a golf ball about 300 hundred yards?
::::giggles::::That could be interesting at parties::::
And if you really want to pick up dollar bills off of a paying customer you could make some money!
So I am an investment and a retirement fund if you really want to go that route.
:::Wow you really thought this through didn't you?:::::
(lips are moving side to side)
:::So I take that as a yes?::::
So what do you say?
:::::well alright:::(sigh):::if it will get you off my back::::
You know I was thinking of moving there once but opted against it!!!
So I would like a slow tedious massage with a little KY so that you don't chaff me.
(Begins to move towards the bathroom getting the KY from the medicine cabinet and moves into the bedroom)
fade to black
more continued.... Stay tuned for next weeks story.....Same time same vagina channel.....
Monday, October 06, 2003
Compliments How do you take them? One by One or all at once?....
I have noticed that no matter how many times you get compliments that you are sort of taken back by it. You know it makes you feel good about getting them for about thirty seconds before you start to wonder if that person is flirting with you or just paying you a compliment? How do you honestly or graciously take a compliment without sounding rude? Hmmmm I know when I get compliments you start off with a smile and a quick thank you for saying that to whomever gave it to you. But I think most of the time I am self conscious because what happened today that I did so special that any other day I do not get compliments? I know when people tell me I am either very pretty or beautiful that I do not believe it because I still see the person of my youth peering back at me from that cracked mirror that I broke. I know that you are your own worst enemy but damm when people tell you did you lose weight or what even though just minutes earlier you were woofing down that Carl's Jr Cheeseburger like there is no tomorrow. Will chasing it down with a mouth watering Soda and a ton of salt packed fries from a biggie size meal... Followed by a nice chocolate and caramel sundae you are talking calorie heaven that will add 30 lbs to a celluloid packed thigh in a heart beat. I try to dish out the compliments on a steady regular basis specially if it makes a person smile even a little bit. You never know what kind of day that person is having and a little something like a few words to brighten up someone's day makes a difference that you do not even see. You might be skipping rocks across a lake but those itty bitty tiny ripples that were created in the water continue with there own energy with a rippling effect getting larger and larger till we can't possibly see because it goes so far. So next time you see someone looking kind of down in the dumps I recommend you giving them a compliment so that maybe sometime beyond what you can plainly see will be happening before your very eyes...
Sunday, October 05, 2003
Favorite List
Things I like...
Starbucks Coffee
People who are smart
The color purple
Video games on any system
CD's
DVD's
A pair of beautiful eyes
A nice smile
Kindness
Compassion
A full body massage with scented oil
Candles scented or not
Poetry all color shapes and sizes
Books doesn't matter as long as there is text
The Sims
Scrunches
Tat's
Piercings
Men with really nice bodies (drool)
Flattery
Phone calls just because
Kissing
Touching in general as long as its sensual
Artwork
Friends (you know who you are I love you very much)
Camping
Hiking
Fishing
Off roading in raised trucks (yeah baby)
Roleplaying (any game I don't care)
Sex
Foreplay
My cell phone
Yahoo
Aol
Blogger.com
Online Journals
Medieval dresses
Scrubs
Nurses
Babies
Kids
ice cream
pie
candy bars
apples
peaches
pears
nail polish
lipstick
Green eyes
Really tall people (sexy)
Humor
Singers
Singing
Song writers
Novelists
Comic Books
Geeks
Dragons Keep
SCA
backpacks
soft comfortable beds
pillows
comforters
Black Leather Couches
Fish tanks
Scented Lotion
Scanners
Pictures
Cross Stitch
Quilts (I really love Quilts in general) the older the better
Body Paints
Water colors
Pencils
Sharpie Markers (Sandman Wink)
Sandman's Artwork
TV
Playstation 2
Final Fantasy all the series
Reality progams
The Real World any season will do
Mountain Bikes
Pain Pills cause they take away pain that is too much to bear
My mother
My family in general
Hugs (I loved to be bear hugged)
biting softly the neck of males and given it back in return
hair brushes
pizza
Chinese food
Italian men
Accents in general are sexy I can listen to you for hours
smoothes
French kissing
French fries
Online Games
Online Chatrooms
Web Cams
Printers
Computers
Foot massage (shudders in delight)
masturbation
money
ice cream coffee
Rocky road Ice cream
Jamocha Almond Fudge
Starbucks Coffee
People who are smart
The color purple
Video games on any system
CD's
DVD's
A pair of beautiful eyes
A nice smile
Kindness
Compassion
A full body massage with scented oil
Candles scented or not
Poetry all color shapes and sizes
Books doesn't matter as long as there is text
The Sims
Scrunches
Tat's
Piercings
Men with really nice bodies (drool)
Flattery
Phone calls just because
Kissing
Touching in general as long as its sensual
Artwork
Friends (you know who you are I love you very much)
Camping
Hiking
Fishing
Off roading in raised trucks (yeah baby)
Roleplaying (any game I don't care)
Sex
Foreplay
My cell phone
Yahoo
Aol
Blogger.com
Online Journals
Medieval dresses
Scrubs
Nurses
Babies
Kids
ice cream
pie
candy bars
apples
peaches
pears
nail polish
lipstick
Green eyes
Really tall people (sexy)
Humor
Singers
Singing
Song writers
Novelists
Comic Books
Geeks
Dragons Keep
SCA
backpacks
soft comfortable beds
pillows
comforters
Black Leather Couches
Fish tanks
Scented Lotion
Scanners
Pictures
Cross Stitch
Quilts (I really love Quilts in general) the older the better
Body Paints
Water colors
Pencils
Sharpie Markers (Sandman Wink)
Sandman's Artwork
TV
Playstation 2
Final Fantasy all the series
Reality progams
The Real World any season will do
Mountain Bikes
Pain Pills cause they take away pain that is too much to bear
My mother
My family in general
Hugs (I loved to be bear hugged)
biting softly the neck of males and given it back in return
hair brushes
pizza
Chinese food
Italian men
Accents in general are sexy I can listen to you for hours
smoothes
French kissing
French fries
Online Games
Online Chatrooms
Web Cams
Printers
Computers
Foot massage (shudders in delight)
masturbation
money
ice cream coffee
Rocky road Ice cream
Jamocha Almond Fudge
Favorite shows in no random order
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
X-files
Friends
Xena Warrior Princess
E.R.
Will add more later as they occur to me?!!!
X-files
Friends
Xena Warrior Princess
E.R.
Will add more later as they occur to me?!!!
Saturday, October 04, 2003
A little information and a tester for all to comment about...
Name: Cassandra
Birthdate: September 15
Location: Fresno, CA
Sex: female
Height: 5'3''
This or that...
Nice smiles or nice eyes? :: eyes
Jeans or skirts? :: jeans
Boots or sneakers? :: boots
Natural or make-up? :: both.
Restaurants or fast food? :: restaurants
Italian food or Chinese? :: Chinese
Dark or light eyes? :: light
Milk shakes or floats? :: milk shakes
Drugs or cigarettes? :: neither ;]
Football or cheerleading? :: Cheerleading
Cake or pie? :: Don't even tempt me with a luscious tasty mouth watering orgasmic tastebud sensation I do not know if I can handle the calories since I am trying to lose weight... But given the chance I would gobble a few of those tasty little buggers down with some ice cold milk and a smile planted on my pretty little face... :::go me::::
Do/How...
You want to die? :: no
You brush your teeth? :: of course :-D
Much time do you take to get dressed? About 10 min.
You like your life? :: sometimes
How well do most people know you? :: not really
Common or original is this survey? :: mostly common
Often do you smile? :: when given the opportunity
Many times a week do you eat junk food? :: I avoid it like the plague!
Do you..
Sing? :: yes, I make a lot of people deaf that way
Dance? :: of course
Laugh a lot? :: yes
Like spicy food? :: If it burns my mouth then I am on fire
Prefer bagels over yogurt? :: Bagels can be topped with so many things
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? :: nope
Want one? :: yes
Think babies are cute? :: yep, but they can be evil
Like children in general? :: yes as long as I can give them back
Believe in fortune cookies? :: that would be a first in history but you never know
Believe in life after death? :: ______ you fill in that answer
Believe in life after love? :: There are more reason to live then just love
Believe that anything is possible? :: yes.
Believe that everyone has a purpose in life? :: You never know whose life you touch by just being you and that should count for something...
Know what yours is? :: yes
Are...
You a girl? :: yes
You a comedian? :: ever chance I get
Your friends true friends in your opinion? :: most of them ;]
You bored? :: no I find things to do
Describe...
Your usual outfit :: nursing scrubs various colors and white sneakers
Your hair :: dark brown currently Burgundy
Your eyes :: hazel tantalizing shade of green and brown (look into my eyes)
What you'd like to change about yourself : Would love to be taller so that I don't have to stand on my tippy toes to kiss the taller males out there...
What...
Are your weaknesses? :: a guy with a sense of humor and a killer smile
Are your fears? :: being a failure and not achieving my goals
Does your perfect pizza consist of? :: cheese olive pepperoni mushrooms garlicand sauce topped with that cool shaker cheese that they like to hand you
Is one thing you would like to achieve? :: To have love in my life and be cherished for the person I am
Who...
Is the one person who makes you laugh the most? :: My friends
Really annoys you? :: stupid people
Doesn't like you though you like him/her? :: if they don't like me I sure as hell don't like them LOL
probably Likes you though you hate him/her? :: well, I wouldn't know
Is...
Hate too much of a strong word? :: yes because love should be he operative word
Food from other cultures good? :: usually.
Your mood calm at the moment? :: yes
Yes or NO....
+you keep a diary = yes
+you like to cook = when I have the time and the energy I will make a master piece that will make your mouth water and your eyes cry for the chance to sink your teeth in it. ::smiles:::
+you have a secret you have not shared with anyone = yes
+you talk in your sleep = nope
+you set your watch a few minutes ahead = nope
+you bite your fingernails = bad habit. Try not to ;-)
+you believe in love = yes
Last...
X. Movie you rented = been a long time I usually buy them on DVD
X. Movie you bought = Harry Potter Chamber of Secrets
X. Song you listened to = Disturbed Prayer and Dixie Chicks (love them)
X. Song that was stuck in your head = Boys 2 Men End of the Road
X. Song you've downloaded = Like I am going to tell you that???
X. CD you bought = Disturbed Prayer
X. CD you listened to = Anyone I can get my hands on
X. Person you've called = Chris
X. Person that's called you = John my buddy from Utah
X. TV show you've watched = who's line
X. You wish you could live somewhere else = who doesn't but that's always open to debate
X. You think about suicide = yeah its not pretty to ever get that low in your life when nothing seems to matter I recommend prayer though instead of a petty way out.
X. You believe in online dating = no
X. Others find you attractive = Been told that I was cute though I think I am ugly from time to time since I am my own worst critic that's always dependent upon the person who is looking at you right?
X. You want more piercings = yes I find them sexy and I have a thirst for pain of ultimately beautifying my body with studs...
X. You want more tattoos = yes I want a sexy dragon to cover my back from the shoulder to the upper beginning of my inner back..
X. You drink = on occasion have been known to live it up a little
X. You do drugs = no
X. You like cleaning = I like to have friends to come over and not sit anything moldy or disgusting... They wouldn't come over too often
X. You like roller coasters = the bigger the better I want to be scared out of my mind but that will not happen because I am an adrenaline junkie
X. You write in cursive or print = cursive
have you...
X. Ever cried over a boy/girl = yes and he broke my heart damm him but hey you must forgive and forget. Besides what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...
X. Ever lied to someone = who hasn't but I try to refrain from doing so because it is not a good thing...
X. Ever been in a fist fight = yes
X. Ever been arrested = no
What...
X. Shampoo do you use = pantene!
X. Shoes do you wear = nike
Number...
X. Of times I have been in love? Twice but whose counting anyways
X. Of times I have had my heart broken? Too many to count worst was when my father hurt me by disowning me on my birthday when my stepmother couldn't handle me being close to my father and taking time away from her...
X. Of hearts I have broken? Maybe a few but I am sorry if I have done so please forgive me
X. Of people I've slept with? A lady never tells
X. Of people I consider my enemies? I don't have any that I know of sorry
X. Of people from high school that I stayed in contact with? A few
X. Of CDs' that I own? Too many to count
X. Of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? Never
X. Of things in my past that I regret? Not saying what I meant and hurting those I loved because I never said anything at all. Being way to shy and passing up opportunities to meet new people because I was too damm afraid to talk with them in person. Anxiety gets me everytime....
Birthdate: September 15
Location: Fresno, CA
Sex: female
Height: 5'3''
This or that...
Nice smiles or nice eyes? :: eyes
Jeans or skirts? :: jeans
Boots or sneakers? :: boots
Natural or make-up? :: both.
Restaurants or fast food? :: restaurants
Italian food or Chinese? :: Chinese
Dark or light eyes? :: light
Milk shakes or floats? :: milk shakes
Drugs or cigarettes? :: neither ;]
Football or cheerleading? :: Cheerleading
Cake or pie? :: Don't even tempt me with a luscious tasty mouth watering orgasmic tastebud sensation I do not know if I can handle the calories since I am trying to lose weight... But given the chance I would gobble a few of those tasty little buggers down with some ice cold milk and a smile planted on my pretty little face... :::go me::::
Do/How...
You want to die? :: no
You brush your teeth? :: of course :-D
Much time do you take to get dressed? About 10 min.
You like your life? :: sometimes
How well do most people know you? :: not really
Common or original is this survey? :: mostly common
Often do you smile? :: when given the opportunity
Many times a week do you eat junk food? :: I avoid it like the plague!
Do you..
Sing? :: yes, I make a lot of people deaf that way
Dance? :: of course
Laugh a lot? :: yes
Like spicy food? :: If it burns my mouth then I am on fire
Prefer bagels over yogurt? :: Bagels can be topped with so many things
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? :: nope
Want one? :: yes
Think babies are cute? :: yep, but they can be evil
Like children in general? :: yes as long as I can give them back
Believe in fortune cookies? :: that would be a first in history but you never know
Believe in life after death? :: ______ you fill in that answer
Believe in life after love? :: There are more reason to live then just love
Believe that anything is possible? :: yes.
Believe that everyone has a purpose in life? :: You never know whose life you touch by just being you and that should count for something...
Know what yours is? :: yes
Are...
You a girl? :: yes
You a comedian? :: ever chance I get
Your friends true friends in your opinion? :: most of them ;]
You bored? :: no I find things to do
Describe...
Your usual outfit :: nursing scrubs various colors and white sneakers
Your hair :: dark brown currently Burgundy
Your eyes :: hazel tantalizing shade of green and brown (look into my eyes)
What you'd like to change about yourself : Would love to be taller so that I don't have to stand on my tippy toes to kiss the taller males out there...
What...
Are your weaknesses? :: a guy with a sense of humor and a killer smile
Are your fears? :: being a failure and not achieving my goals
Does your perfect pizza consist of? :: cheese olive pepperoni mushrooms garlicand sauce topped with that cool shaker cheese that they like to hand you
Is one thing you would like to achieve? :: To have love in my life and be cherished for the person I am
Who...
Is the one person who makes you laugh the most? :: My friends
Really annoys you? :: stupid people
Doesn't like you though you like him/her? :: if they don't like me I sure as hell don't like them LOL
probably Likes you though you hate him/her? :: well, I wouldn't know
Is...
Hate too much of a strong word? :: yes because love should be he operative word
Food from other cultures good? :: usually.
Your mood calm at the moment? :: yes
Yes or NO....
+you keep a diary = yes
+you like to cook = when I have the time and the energy I will make a master piece that will make your mouth water and your eyes cry for the chance to sink your teeth in it. ::smiles:::
+you have a secret you have not shared with anyone = yes
+you talk in your sleep = nope
+you set your watch a few minutes ahead = nope
+you bite your fingernails = bad habit. Try not to ;-)
+you believe in love = yes
Last...
X. Movie you rented = been a long time I usually buy them on DVD
X. Movie you bought = Harry Potter Chamber of Secrets
X. Song you listened to = Disturbed Prayer and Dixie Chicks (love them)
X. Song that was stuck in your head = Boys 2 Men End of the Road
X. Song you've downloaded = Like I am going to tell you that???
X. CD you bought = Disturbed Prayer
X. CD you listened to = Anyone I can get my hands on
X. Person you've called = Chris
X. Person that's called you = John my buddy from Utah
X. TV show you've watched = who's line
X. You wish you could live somewhere else = who doesn't but that's always open to debate
X. You think about suicide = yeah its not pretty to ever get that low in your life when nothing seems to matter I recommend prayer though instead of a petty way out.
X. You believe in online dating = no
X. Others find you attractive = Been told that I was cute though I think I am ugly from time to time since I am my own worst critic that's always dependent upon the person who is looking at you right?
X. You want more piercings = yes I find them sexy and I have a thirst for pain of ultimately beautifying my body with studs...
X. You want more tattoos = yes I want a sexy dragon to cover my back from the shoulder to the upper beginning of my inner back..
X. You drink = on occasion have been known to live it up a little
X. You do drugs = no
X. You like cleaning = I like to have friends to come over and not sit anything moldy or disgusting... They wouldn't come over too often
X. You like roller coasters = the bigger the better I want to be scared out of my mind but that will not happen because I am an adrenaline junkie
X. You write in cursive or print = cursive
have you...
X. Ever cried over a boy/girl = yes and he broke my heart damm him but hey you must forgive and forget. Besides what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...
X. Ever lied to someone = who hasn't but I try to refrain from doing so because it is not a good thing...
X. Ever been in a fist fight = yes
X. Ever been arrested = no
What...
X. Shampoo do you use = pantene!
X. Shoes do you wear = nike
Number...
X. Of times I have been in love? Twice but whose counting anyways
X. Of times I have had my heart broken? Too many to count worst was when my father hurt me by disowning me on my birthday when my stepmother couldn't handle me being close to my father and taking time away from her...
X. Of hearts I have broken? Maybe a few but I am sorry if I have done so please forgive me
X. Of people I've slept with? A lady never tells
X. Of people I consider my enemies? I don't have any that I know of sorry
X. Of people from high school that I stayed in contact with? A few
X. Of CDs' that I own? Too many to count
X. Of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? Never
X. Of things in my past that I regret? Not saying what I meant and hurting those I loved because I never said anything at all. Being way to shy and passing up opportunities to meet new people because I was too damm afraid to talk with them in person. Anxiety gets me everytime....
Friday, October 03, 2003
The reason why I blog
I thought I would write down my ideas or whatever pops into my head for awhile here. I am hoping that my future will look a little more clearer down the road then it does right now. I have so many goals just not enough money or time to do them in. Mostly its the lack of a car that has stopped me from going anywhere because a bike just doesn't cut it right now. I get irritated easily because frustration racks my body from time to time and leaves me in a bad mood. I have meet some new friends online whom I think might make it for life long friends because they are not interested in sex just video games. Hell you know I like video games :::smiles:::: and that is my main reason for living... (J/K) My kids are my soul reason for living and hopefully my goals will come out with me on top and making it someday for my kids to be proud of me. My daughter is one of my best friends in this world my best and worst critic. I love her dearly because she puts up with so much crap of not seeing nearly enough of her mom who is always at work. I am a workaholic which leaves very little time for anything else but sleep and on my days off I like to spend them with her. My son Zachery is about the cutest and the most stubborn person on the planet which makes me wonder what the hell am I going to do with him in the near future. He also when he is in his Charming I am going to love you to death mood. Grabs you by the face and smoothers you with kisses and hugs. I can't help but smile when I get up in the morning and he runs and throws his arms around me. Am I blessed or what? Seriously the Lord is a Great and Wonderful being whom I will meet someday in the late future. Might as well not jinx myself and tempt fate so I will say at a later date and leave it at that. Well that's just about what I have to say today nothing else happening except that I watched a couple of movies today which I am eternally grateful for the power of DVD, Television, Electricity, and my Playstation 2 for making it possible to entertain me so throughly. Without it I think I would die of boredom and I would have to actually rely on my love of books to entertain me more than my PS2. Thanks to my new friend who sings Karoke like a demon possessed and has the love of video games in his heart. Without people like you the world would be completely boring. Never change I look forward to having a new and wonderful friend in this world who loves Video Games like me. Well I am out of here kiddo's sleep calls to me and this body has to be at work tomorrow and that my dear pays the bills! It is a love hate relationship which gives me the ability to buy and provide for my little family not that I am the getting anywhere but hey I am still floating above water barely.... Goodnight all...
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
Inspiration ::::ARIES::::: My mind is ticking with the possibilities of a good challenge
Inspiration may come at the unlikest places whether it be a person, place, thing, or idea but when it happens its like this sudden euphoria hits you with amazing speed and clarity. I had a resident today make me smile not because she did anything special just that she goes out of her way to be nice even though her situation might not be the best. She has some decubes on her bottom which makes sitting a painful chore in itself but she amazes me how she just can sit there and smile and be completely sweet. Plus her faith in God is pretty unnerving because she prays for her friends instead of herself. I can understand the concept of making others happy then happiness will come your way if your thoughts are not upon yourself in a selfish way. My friend Lisle conveyed this to me on the phone the other day that when you pray for others not expecting nothing in return is when things start to look up for you. You are no longer focused on whatever problems would be causing such grief in the first place. I do not know if I have that much human compassion in me not that I am a total bitter person its just that life gets me down specially when I am already down already. But I know that a positive addittude in a bad situation if you can find the humor in whatever it is then it doesn't seem all that bad. Hell I crack jokes at myself all the time cause in doing so I find the humor in it all. Kind of a cosmic joke that has its repetitiveness that strikes me as mean and cruel. But not so that I am not undeserving of a little misery for the hell I have caused others. I am not without blame which I am not particularly proud of but without lying I Have gotten more than I have dished out. Just this last year I started fighting back instead of being passive which is not strange I just fought the urge to be a bitch. Till someone pushed me far enough to want me to wreak havoc upon that person and I didn't feel the slightest bit guilty for it at all. Actually it felt liberating because they were doing it to hurt me and I wasn't about to let them have there day. I like to win at all costs which is no strange thing but winning with style is also nice.
Inspiration can come with just a simple gesture, a hug, or some kind words from a friend who has already been there and done that.... Thanks because you already know who you are I thank you for the way you put up with me as a friend and expect nothing in return just friendship pure and simple.... LOVE YOU ALL......
On a side note a friend whom I have just recently talked to who has intrigued me greatly whose name is Aries has a damm nice body and a killer addittude. The voice is soft and sexy to distract you from thinking clearly which I look forward to talking to from previous conversations. But what truly makes him tick? See to really dominate someone you have to get inside there head? I am talking soul searching deep till they do not know where they begin and you begin. That at the slightest whim of my own conscious thoughts they anticipate whatever I want them to do without me telling them to do it. There is something impowering to have complete control over somebody which strangely fascinates me. I know that I am dominate to a point or extent that I like people following my orders without question or hesitation. That it intrigues me that another person would so willingly want to be commanded by another? I have been reading upon this on the internet which my time is limited since I work so much. But what really fascinates me is the color of the skin when someone is spanked. It has this healty pink color to it that is strangely attractive in itself almost an artform?!!! I used to get spanked as a child without really actually feeling too much pain because I can block it succesfully which being the great actress I am conjured up many a tear so that they wouldnt see me laughing. My brother and I used to laugh and snicker as they left the room because it truly didn't hurt. Might sound sick but on occasion when messing around sexually I have been spanked and found it sexually arousing to say the least. But only during sex any other time I am libel to rip off your arms and feed them to you. Now I am faced with a tantalyzing dilema of molding a creature to my every whim out of pure boredom, out of pure pleasure, or out of spite you name it I can do it?!!! Now if this fantasy in which I have a pretty good vivid imagination were to come true then what kind of a Domintrix Would I be? I wonder if there is some sort of online poll for this thing. The concept intrigues me greatly specially if there is no sex involved just making a person do exactly as I say when I say it. I think that would be a highly erotic occasion? Don't you think. Specially if they there on all fours with there butt in the air just taunting me with there ass wanting me to spank them with every fiber and cell in there body? :::raises eyebrow:::: Now you know Cassandra has taken this with serious thought and to heart because the idea truthfully turns me on. The concept of Dominating another person out of pure whimsy is sexy as a man with the body of a God like Aries who just wants to be Used and Abused in the most imaginative ways possible?!! I find this most intriguing and stimulating. Where are you going to find a guy who wants to be in total control by a female? There aren't men out there who will admit that they want to be possesed by another so completely that they can't make a conscious choice on there own without asking for permission.
Go me! The thought has merit........>
But Intelligence to me is a must which I find more intriguing then all the physical beauty that a man can posses. I have friends like Lisle who are beautiful in mind, body, and spirit who don't really know how truly wonderful and special they are. My friends my good friends I can put on just both of my hands because I do not like to hang around with stupid people. I have high standards that they must follow by and stupidity is not one of them. I know on the occassion that people have there blonde moments but dont let that be everyday please...
Now the most erotic thing on a male has to be black silk boxers... There is nothing that absolutely turns my head then a package concealing silk boxers. Let me point this out to all the men that where tighty whites.... We do not want to see what you have unless its time to reveal it to us during foreplay. We like to be suprised pleasantly later with the total package (sound effects) ::::wham::::blam::::zowee:::::pow:::: to say in the honor of all comic books everywhere... Now have a picture of you tied up in some black silk scarves hell that would be beautiful.... Well I am thinking naughty thoughts already and inspired to write some dirty poetry to go along but I will have to save that for my days off because I am currently a workaholic....
::::sigh::::
Aries is definetly distracting in all his male glory::::there should be more eye candy like him to appease the Goddess Aphrodite herself into mortal temptation... Did I mention that I have a huge crush on the God of war on Xena Warrior Princess? That was just a random bit of information that I thought I would throw in just for fun.....
::::goodnight::::
Inspiration can come with just a simple gesture, a hug, or some kind words from a friend who has already been there and done that.... Thanks because you already know who you are I thank you for the way you put up with me as a friend and expect nothing in return just friendship pure and simple.... LOVE YOU ALL......
On a side note a friend whom I have just recently talked to who has intrigued me greatly whose name is Aries has a damm nice body and a killer addittude. The voice is soft and sexy to distract you from thinking clearly which I look forward to talking to from previous conversations. But what truly makes him tick? See to really dominate someone you have to get inside there head? I am talking soul searching deep till they do not know where they begin and you begin. That at the slightest whim of my own conscious thoughts they anticipate whatever I want them to do without me telling them to do it. There is something impowering to have complete control over somebody which strangely fascinates me. I know that I am dominate to a point or extent that I like people following my orders without question or hesitation. That it intrigues me that another person would so willingly want to be commanded by another? I have been reading upon this on the internet which my time is limited since I work so much. But what really fascinates me is the color of the skin when someone is spanked. It has this healty pink color to it that is strangely attractive in itself almost an artform?!!! I used to get spanked as a child without really actually feeling too much pain because I can block it succesfully which being the great actress I am conjured up many a tear so that they wouldnt see me laughing. My brother and I used to laugh and snicker as they left the room because it truly didn't hurt. Might sound sick but on occasion when messing around sexually I have been spanked and found it sexually arousing to say the least. But only during sex any other time I am libel to rip off your arms and feed them to you. Now I am faced with a tantalyzing dilema of molding a creature to my every whim out of pure boredom, out of pure pleasure, or out of spite you name it I can do it?!!! Now if this fantasy in which I have a pretty good vivid imagination were to come true then what kind of a Domintrix Would I be? I wonder if there is some sort of online poll for this thing. The concept intrigues me greatly specially if there is no sex involved just making a person do exactly as I say when I say it. I think that would be a highly erotic occasion? Don't you think. Specially if they there on all fours with there butt in the air just taunting me with there ass wanting me to spank them with every fiber and cell in there body? :::raises eyebrow:::: Now you know Cassandra has taken this with serious thought and to heart because the idea truthfully turns me on. The concept of Dominating another person out of pure whimsy is sexy as a man with the body of a God like Aries who just wants to be Used and Abused in the most imaginative ways possible?!! I find this most intriguing and stimulating. Where are you going to find a guy who wants to be in total control by a female? There aren't men out there who will admit that they want to be possesed by another so completely that they can't make a conscious choice on there own without asking for permission.
Go me! The thought has merit........>
But Intelligence to me is a must which I find more intriguing then all the physical beauty that a man can posses. I have friends like Lisle who are beautiful in mind, body, and spirit who don't really know how truly wonderful and special they are. My friends my good friends I can put on just both of my hands because I do not like to hang around with stupid people. I have high standards that they must follow by and stupidity is not one of them. I know on the occassion that people have there blonde moments but dont let that be everyday please...
Now the most erotic thing on a male has to be black silk boxers... There is nothing that absolutely turns my head then a package concealing silk boxers. Let me point this out to all the men that where tighty whites.... We do not want to see what you have unless its time to reveal it to us during foreplay. We like to be suprised pleasantly later with the total package (sound effects) ::::wham::::blam::::zowee:::::pow:::: to say in the honor of all comic books everywhere... Now have a picture of you tied up in some black silk scarves hell that would be beautiful.... Well I am thinking naughty thoughts already and inspired to write some dirty poetry to go along but I will have to save that for my days off because I am currently a workaholic....
::::sigh::::
Aries is definetly distracting in all his male glory::::there should be more eye candy like him to appease the Goddess Aphrodite herself into mortal temptation... Did I mention that I have a huge crush on the God of war on Xena Warrior Princess? That was just a random bit of information that I thought I would throw in just for fun.....
::::goodnight::::
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