Been awhile I know but I didn't want to write about nonsense or anything that isn't important. A few things has happened since the last time I have written. First off I live in Richland Mississippi population maybe a few thousand smiles if I'm lucky. A huge highway goes right smack down the middle of the town which is the main road that has all the shopping centers. I found out who are my real friends and who isn't. I found out that family will disappoint you and you have to try to forgive them but not forget that they aren't to be trusted at all under no circumstances. That aunts who say they love you agree with your evil uncle just to keep the peace because they are afraid to open their mouth to a tyrant who rules with an iron mouth full of hateful words and manipulation. I learned even when you are all alone that God sees all and is watching you so try to act your best even when no one is looking. That no matter what is said about you they can't change your opinion of you that you should live in the sunshine that's in your mind and remember your happy place. I can't change the people's mind but I can show them with my actions. I had to get rid of cousins who didn't or couldn't be there for me because once again my uncle wouldn't allow it. It's easier to go with the system then fight against it and live with the uncomfortable consequences when it makes your life hard. I can understand and forgive you Denise Ellis but I was there for you even when I was tired and had to go to work you and Steven. I supported you when you wanted to go back to your cheating husband who abandoned you to your dads house with no income. Cause I know what it is like to live without your heart because of foolish pride and stupidity. When he was making your life miserable I answered your call no matter if I was sleeping or busy because I knew you needed someone to listen to you cry and vent your frustrations to someone. I know the people you love will disappoint you time and time again but there are some people who don't I have a few of them you know who you are.
I now have a sister named Erika Morris who I learned of a few months ago. I guess my father did a few things right in his life time. Erika and I have developed a bond in a short amount of time the loneliness isn't so great. I'm trying to put into words all that has happened in a few short months but its really hard to do I just feel that she was put in my life in a time when I really needed it. She is a blessing to me.
My moms health isn't the best and she is clear across the states and it would be hard for me to get to her. It makes me sad about my situation but I'm plugging along trying to smile even though I can barely stand it. Grandma Ola isn't the best person to be around or even live with she has grown old and mean in her age when Cherry finds this out I wonder how she is going to take it.
It is hard being in a new place and having to put 100lbs of groceries on a bike and get it from point a to point b without retards trying to hit you with their car. I realize what I am capable of that sort of strength I didn't realize I possessed I know my kids need it. I don't ask for help not from Bobbi not from anyone here their isn't really a point because if they said no they would disappoint me. The only time people call me is when they want something that I can do for them. I feel a thousand miles away from family even though within an hours time traveling they live in walking distance. I really hate the holidays down here and hope that I will not be subjected to any Xmas down here because that would be a lonely occasion how in the hell would I get a tree to my house? Where would I even begin to search for one and I know for a fact that that damn thing would be fucked up by the time I dragged it home.
I am thankful that I have a job even if its minimum wage something a few other people would like to have I'm good at it but damn do they try my nerves. I still get the groupies calling in and complaining about me that hasn't changed I doubt unless I move it will still always happened he always has to bring people down if he doesn't get his way.
I am trying to define my life here in the endless cycle of go to work; cook food; clean the house; and go to sleep. We can't afford to do anything I'm struggling to stay afloat if it wasn't for my mom we would be sunk. I have forgiven Bobbi but I keep her on a short leash I know that she is pumping me for information about my mother so Steve would know. I just want to wake up in my own house with my own stuff and not have to worry about bugs that chase you around and fly. I want to be happy again even if its fleeting and find someone who can stand my quirks and flaws and love me for me. Good luck smiles
I now have a sister named Erika Morris who I learned of a few months ago. I guess my father did a few things right in his life time. Erika and I have developed a bond in a short amount of time the loneliness isn't so great. I'm trying to put into words all that has happened in a few short months but its really hard to do I just feel that she was put in my life in a time when I really needed it. She is a blessing to me.
My moms health isn't the best and she is clear across the states and it would be hard for me to get to her. It makes me sad about my situation but I'm plugging along trying to smile even though I can barely stand it. Grandma Ola isn't the best person to be around or even live with she has grown old and mean in her age when Cherry finds this out I wonder how she is going to take it.
It is hard being in a new place and having to put 100lbs of groceries on a bike and get it from point a to point b without retards trying to hit you with their car. I realize what I am capable of that sort of strength I didn't realize I possessed I know my kids need it. I don't ask for help not from Bobbi not from anyone here their isn't really a point because if they said no they would disappoint me. The only time people call me is when they want something that I can do for them. I feel a thousand miles away from family even though within an hours time traveling they live in walking distance. I really hate the holidays down here and hope that I will not be subjected to any Xmas down here because that would be a lonely occasion how in the hell would I get a tree to my house? Where would I even begin to search for one and I know for a fact that that damn thing would be fucked up by the time I dragged it home.
I am thankful that I have a job even if its minimum wage something a few other people would like to have I'm good at it but damn do they try my nerves. I still get the groupies calling in and complaining about me that hasn't changed I doubt unless I move it will still always happened he always has to bring people down if he doesn't get his way.
I am trying to define my life here in the endless cycle of go to work; cook food; clean the house; and go to sleep. We can't afford to do anything I'm struggling to stay afloat if it wasn't for my mom we would be sunk. I have forgiven Bobbi but I keep her on a short leash I know that she is pumping me for information about my mother so Steve would know. I just want to wake up in my own house with my own stuff and not have to worry about bugs that chase you around and fly. I want to be happy again even if its fleeting and find someone who can stand my quirks and flaws and love me for me. Good luck smiles
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