You may leave your complaints to the bitching department otherwise post a comment on my handy dandy upgrades to my blog. :::grins:::
So im kinda tired watched a Movie Marathon with Megan today Pirates of the Caribbean today for a couple of hours today back to back because they have the new movie coming out. I got a gift card for there so ill take my girls there tuesday of next week so we can go see 5 dollar movie matinee whatever and save money lord knows the cost of soda and popcorn is ridiculous. Took me four movies to actually come up with 100 questions that I didnt already ask plus the constant interuption from Jade kinda sealed the deal for me made it difficult to already put together conscious thought.
I turned back on my phone today probally should call back the peeps I have been avoiding talking to or wanting to hang out. I dont want to go get drunk I dont want to go get high I dont want to go hang out I think that what they want to do isnt particularly fun at all. I need to call my mother and see how she is doing and invite her to go see a movie with me just to let her know that we can do something as a family.
I sit here confused on what to write how much to say what little to say where to edit where to exploit all the little thoughts that go thru my head. I miss my friend Carla I miss my friend Chiengmay I miss my friends whom Im not going to name just because you read my blog but know that I love you all individually some more than other some im in the process as loving as my friends. I almost didnt renew my cell phone this month on the whole proviso that I had an excuse not to call anyone. I don't feel like picking up the phone and speaking to people I feel like I should withdrawl completely so that I dont add unneccesary bullshit to other peoples lives just because I cant and wont do something about it. I really do feel withdrawn from society like im on the outskirts of my life looking in. Some days are easy spent with laughter and smiling all day. Others im very frustrated trying to handle everything on my own not saying a word because its easier to smile than to frown at what I cant or wont change. I know that I still have some growing up to do this I fear will be the death of me. I am way to impatient for my own good I dont know how to be more patient. I frown a lot or get angry at the littlest of slights. I am quick to anger when you piss me off. Today in a car this black lady was cussing me out wanting to fight and all I could say back to her was lady your handicapped would that be a fair fight. Like come on really you cut me off and then cuss at me but im supposed to let you disrespect me without saying anything back. At least her husband was apologizing for her rude behavior. I just looked at her and smiled my prettiest smile and waved at her. Which pretty much made her more than pissed at me since she slammed on the brakes in my suv. Little known fact I have the ugliest white suburban on the planet a serious gas hog eats my money like nothing but it gets me here to there without much complaint.
I really dont want to go to bed I know im tired as all hell but I cant and I wont sleep im restless and I know it. Im trying to be more calm and more easy going not working but im trying. All I am asking at the end of the day god is save me from me im my own worst enemy. I have it good right now I shouldn't complain cause I know for a fact things can be worse I have lived thru worse. Let me be grateful for the small things that make me wonder make me laugh make me smile. And forget about those people who only want to bring me down use me or otherwise take from me which isnt theirs in the first place.
Why I woke up today
Mountain Dew
Twizzlers makes mouths happy
Captain Jack Sparrow
Push up Bras to keep the girls exactly where they are supposed to be THANK YOU GOD I HATES BIG BOOBS
Erotic Poetry
Well placed Unendos
Ill timed Kisses
EPIC SEX im still waiting
Tang licked off the body
Web Cams with my friend
Uncontrollable smiling
World of Warcraft
DOG TAGS
Rocky Road Icecream
Little touches in the dark
So im kinda tired watched a Movie Marathon with Megan today Pirates of the Caribbean today for a couple of hours today back to back because they have the new movie coming out. I got a gift card for there so ill take my girls there tuesday of next week so we can go see 5 dollar movie matinee whatever and save money lord knows the cost of soda and popcorn is ridiculous. Took me four movies to actually come up with 100 questions that I didnt already ask plus the constant interuption from Jade kinda sealed the deal for me made it difficult to already put together conscious thought.
I turned back on my phone today probally should call back the peeps I have been avoiding talking to or wanting to hang out. I dont want to go get drunk I dont want to go get high I dont want to go hang out I think that what they want to do isnt particularly fun at all. I need to call my mother and see how she is doing and invite her to go see a movie with me just to let her know that we can do something as a family.
I sit here confused on what to write how much to say what little to say where to edit where to exploit all the little thoughts that go thru my head. I miss my friend Carla I miss my friend Chiengmay I miss my friends whom Im not going to name just because you read my blog but know that I love you all individually some more than other some im in the process as loving as my friends. I almost didnt renew my cell phone this month on the whole proviso that I had an excuse not to call anyone. I don't feel like picking up the phone and speaking to people I feel like I should withdrawl completely so that I dont add unneccesary bullshit to other peoples lives just because I cant and wont do something about it. I really do feel withdrawn from society like im on the outskirts of my life looking in. Some days are easy spent with laughter and smiling all day. Others im very frustrated trying to handle everything on my own not saying a word because its easier to smile than to frown at what I cant or wont change. I know that I still have some growing up to do this I fear will be the death of me. I am way to impatient for my own good I dont know how to be more patient. I frown a lot or get angry at the littlest of slights. I am quick to anger when you piss me off. Today in a car this black lady was cussing me out wanting to fight and all I could say back to her was lady your handicapped would that be a fair fight. Like come on really you cut me off and then cuss at me but im supposed to let you disrespect me without saying anything back. At least her husband was apologizing for her rude behavior. I just looked at her and smiled my prettiest smile and waved at her. Which pretty much made her more than pissed at me since she slammed on the brakes in my suv. Little known fact I have the ugliest white suburban on the planet a serious gas hog eats my money like nothing but it gets me here to there without much complaint.
I really dont want to go to bed I know im tired as all hell but I cant and I wont sleep im restless and I know it. Im trying to be more calm and more easy going not working but im trying. All I am asking at the end of the day god is save me from me im my own worst enemy. I have it good right now I shouldn't complain cause I know for a fact things can be worse I have lived thru worse. Let me be grateful for the small things that make me wonder make me laugh make me smile. And forget about those people who only want to bring me down use me or otherwise take from me which isnt theirs in the first place.
Why I woke up today
Mountain Dew
Twizzlers makes mouths happy
Captain Jack Sparrow
Push up Bras to keep the girls exactly where they are supposed to be THANK YOU GOD I HATES BIG BOOBS
Erotic Poetry
Well placed Unendos
Ill timed Kisses
EPIC SEX im still waiting
Tang licked off the body
Web Cams with my friend
Uncontrollable smiling
World of Warcraft
DOG TAGS
Rocky Road Icecream
Little touches in the dark
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